Originally published on WordPress, Copyright 2021 Lady in the Blue Box Publishing, written by me, Rachel Beth Ahrens, All Rights Reserved. Reader Discretion is Advised, RAYOR.
We’re getting into the finite gritty parts of this dissertation and op-ed of the musical in question. This is going to get hairy. Bear with me. The warning for readers under age 16 is still in effect, do not let very young impressionable children read these words, for there will be some vulgar language and some more clips from the musical that are not intended for very young kids.
Remember, 16+, everyone. Reader discretion is advised.
Now to tie this whole package together, we have to bring up our dear friend Jane Austen again. Jane Austen, the writer of Mr. Darcy from my first post on this matter. If you want my desperate and brutally honest opinion of the two historical figures I’ve named:
I love Mozart. Mozart is my all time favorite composer.
I ADORE Jane Austen. She is my favorite English classical literature author. I truly miss the Regency Era right now more than ever, because Corona Virus sucks, I still can’t buy my own smartphone, I can’t buy a car, I can’t even buy a bicycle or even buy classes to teach me effectively how to ride a bike- BECAUSE I don’t trust the internet AT ALL- and because of my love of Austen. And the historical parts and grandeur of the Regency Era and War of 1812 period. And ok, Victorian Era is pretty cool too, I love steampunk. Nerd chic, nerds are cool, c’est chic geek!
Elizabeth Bennet is one of the coolest female characters written in a fictional story. Mr. Darcy is very handsome, but the flirty Mr. Tilney from Northanger Abbey is even better. Henry Tilney is so sexy, he’s stolen my Catherine Morland heart.
I’m a rocker chick. Favorite band is Fall Out Boy. Number one song at the top of my Top 25 Most Played List on iTunes is “High Hopes”, Panic! At the Disco. I’m in love with The Black Keys, Jack White, Van Halen, The Beatles’ lesser known albums and songs (Abbey Road, to name one), Paramore, Evanescence, my homeboys All Time Low, and because I’m Irish- Imelda May and Flogging Molly. And I think Brian Setzer is a guitar and rockabilly god from way back when and reincarnated.
Favorite musical, you ask??? Guess what it is. Take a guess. You’ve heard her singing voice before.
WAITRESS. Music and lyrics by Sara Bareilles.
Now, Mr. Miranda, I have to be harsh with you… WHY THE FUCKING HELL did you STEAL all the Tonys and leave NOTHING for poor Sara Bareilles, who was always the Grammy nominee and never won any awards, HUH? HUH?!?!?! She is a MUSICAL GODDESS! HOW COULD YOU! HOW DARE YOU!!! plebthbth*@$!#@**!&#$@^%pthbhthbhthbthlbhtbth!!!!
It makes me so mad to say this to all of my friends in the Vale of the Twitter who love and geek out and obsess over Alexander Hamilton. (No, please, don’t sing that song- la la la la la la la- shut up shut up shut up shut up- SHUT UP!)
“AND I’VE NEVER BEEN SO INSULTED IN ALL MY LIFE!”
*sigh* *deep breath* Despthpthpicable.
Ok, so I know what you’re thinking. Why Waitress is better than Hamilton. There are several good reasons. The biggest reason of all is that I’ve seen the actual movie back when I was in high school and it was one of the most endearing and uplifting films about women and feminism I’ve ever seen. The reason is because Adrienne Shelley, the writer, actress, and director who made the Keri Russell and Nathan Fillion indie movie, wanted to show the world and the people at Sundance Film Festival her message about domestic violence against women. It had a powerful message about abusive and rapist-like husbands who are just like Earl Hunterson, and asking women like Jenna, women everywhere, that you can have a happy ending just like her, even if you don’t have a man with you. Being divorced and starting over from nothing is still a good start to give yourself a new life.
As Andy Griffith said in the movie as Old Joe, Jenna’s only friend, “Pie lady, listen to me. This life will kill you. Start fresh. It’s never too late. Start fresh.”
Unfortunately, director Adrienne Shelley didn’t live to see her movie in theatres. She was murdered by an alleged illegal immigrant who staged it as a suicide at her office at the age of 40. And later, Nick Cordero, the actor who played Earl in the Broadway musical of Waitress suddenly died earlier this year due to illness, and we all know what illness was the culprit.
COVID19. Corona Virus. He was very young too and still had a lot of strength left in him, perhaps to return to the stage. He wasn’t lucky at all.
Neither was one of my favorite songwriters, Adam Schlessinger, who also died of the virus this year, and he wrote some of the coolest songs for Rachel Bloom for her TV show-musical comedy Crazy Ex Girlfriend. And he was the singer of Fountains of Wayne, writing the comical “Stacy’s Mom”, “Hackensack”, and “Hey Julie”, which is my favorite song that goes with my mom’s name and perfectly describes the married relationship of my mom and dad.
Broadway is dark, just like the Goo Goo Dolls song, and things just cut a lot deeper. A lot of women are hurting this year more than ever, women who are a lot like Jenna Hunterson, who have nowhere to run from their abusive husbands and dangerous partners, because all the homeless shelters are full or closed, the grocery stores are closed too, hotels are full, and nobody wants you outside later than 10 p.m. to encourage even bigger efforts of social distancing to go as far as full quarantine measures, nobody leave home ever again forever. So you have to find shelter in a broken car or a McDonald’s dumpster. It’s exhausting.
But believe me when I say this, and I say this dearly and sweetness, with all the tender affection and love in my heart…
When I got to the part about Philip Hamilton’s death… NOBODY hurts more than parents who lose a child to gun violence. No. One.
A YouTube commenter wrote on the video capture of Lin-Manuel Miranda singing the song “It’s Quiet Uptown” by giving this perfect analogy, which really is stressed throughout the musical in a subliminal fashion. Lin is not stupid, he’s witty and sharp as a tack when it comes to this. Get a load of this reality check. In the biography by Ron Chernow, Alexander Hamilton had been craving death since he was a child. His father left his mother abruptly when he was young, so he never knew his dad. Both Hamilton and his mother both got sick with a terrible epidemic sweeping through the islands when he was only a teenager. As he held his mother’s hand in the hospital bed next to him, she died suddenly from illness. Hamilton survived and remained an orphan the rest of his life.
Then he meets Elizabeth Schuyler, nickname Eliza, at a fancy party while Hamilton was going to school at King’s College, typical college romance, but he was on his way to fight in the war against England. Eliza had two other sisters, Angelica and Peggy Schuyler, and their father was conveniently rich as hell, and one of the contributors to the college too. Eliza, as the song goes, was “helplessly” in love with Hamilton, and her sister Angelica was TOAST. Angelica Schuyler was actually the first woman who ever loved Hamilton, crazy sick in love with him, but she already knew her father would never approve, because their father was a rich imbecile who only cared if his eldest daughter married a very rich man. Hamilton was very poor and he had nothing to offer. Mr. Schuyler was happy enough to offer his middle child Eliza to Hamilton as his wife anyway. But Angelica regretted it forever.
When it was getting closer to the biggest victories and battles against England, there was a big dispute between John Laurens and George Washington that ended in another gun duel. After the fight, Washington and Hamilton got into a heated argument (says the musical, and Chernow’s biography by proxy) where Washington barks at Hamilton to go home immediately, despite Hamilton having to constantly beg the general, “I wanna fight in the war! Give me troops! Let me fight the war!” And Washington just snaps back at him once more- “Your WIFE needs you alive, SON, I need you ALIVE!”
And for the first time, we hear Lin-Manuel actually lose his temper, which for me is hard to see from his soft personality, especially when watching that cute interview where he’s hugging and belly-scratching adorable puppies…
Lin-Manuel Miranda, who the fans squeal is the most sweetest and kindest adorable man in Broadway, screams his head off: “CALL ME SON ONE MORE TIME!!!”
Woah. That’s how I feel when somebody calls me bitch. That hurts. A lot. Remind me to never get any of the Mirandas especially angry. That is just awful.
That, ladies and gentlemen, is why I’m so afraid of Lin-Manuel Miranda. He’s intimidating, especially with this scene making my fear of him 10 times worse. Of all celebrities, for me, being next to him is one of the scariest, because of how likable he is: he loves karaoke (me), his favorite Disney Princess is Ariel “the mermaid” (me also), he compares himself to Sebastian the crab from Little Mermaid (I honestly have a working theory that Chef Louie was a psychopath, and I used to cuddle my stuffed animal lobster my mom bought for me like it was Sebastian), he has a furry mutt he found on the beach of Dominican Republic that he brought home and named Tobillo after the Spanish word for ankle -Tobi for short- because when he met the puppy, she bit his wife’s ankle and did the famous “dog face” from Disney’s Bolt (that is the sweetest thing I’ve ever heard in my life, and fur baby Tobi is the fluffiest cutest thing, I want to scwatch her bewy and name her Senorita Fluffypawz like I already do my dachshund princess Cinderella), and also, I totally agree with the bumper sticker statement “My favorite breed is rescue” because Tobi, being a stray puppy in the Dominican Republic, was indeed a rescue dog and she is a furry princess (my boyfriend’s dog Lily is also a rescue dog, and she’s a senior now, we don’t know how old she is, but she is da schweetest cutest thing, I can’t deny her giving me the tappy paws and the cute little face she makes that I have to feed her some eggs from my Monte Cristo sammich)-
But what drives me crazy is- his dad is a politician. I know he’s anti-Trump in a BIG way, and I don’t blame him, I hate Trump too, especially for the same reasons as Luis Miranda hates him for sabotaging Puerto Rico’s funds after Hurricane Maria, and for his acts on immigration in which he threw perfectly viable United States born citizens who were born of immigrant parents IN CAGES. But number one thing you should know- I think politicians are scary.
And second, what makes me even more afraid of Lin-Manuel Miranda- The Rain Pryor Incident. Long story about what happened that night at karaoke at Bill Bateman’s, which is why since my breakup with Anthony, I’ve never returned. I was practically a mute all night, until I got up to sing when a certain friend-turned-toxic-evil-fiend showed up and I made a fool of myself. I was too chicken to go up to Ms. Rain Pryor, Richard Pryor’s daughter, comedian, and R&B super star, to just say hi at her when she came to our karaoke show. And thus, everybody, including my ex, and my friends that eventually turned toxic as well, kept bashing me that “your behavior has to change NOW! Or you’re not welcome to be with us anymore.”
Story of my life. That’s why I’m always afraid that he might show his face at a karaoke bar I happen to be at, or one of my ex-friends shows up and I’m there- I’d run away screaming all the way home in a heartbeat.
Moving on.
This scene from the musical came immediately after Lin-Manuel shouted at Christopher Jackson (who plays George Washington) and he ordered him to go home to his wife.
(That Would Be Enough video removed from YouTube due to copyright issues)
Surprise, surprise, Alexander- Eliza’s pregnant with your first baby. What’s improbable here is, Philippa Soo is wearing a Colonial Era costume where she’s actually showing her pregnant belly a little. That’s a little sudden, actually, because she says in the song that she’s known she was pregnant for a month. I assumed, maybe overshot this, that back in those days, a woman knew she was pregnant from the morning sickness and other pregnancy symptoms, especially having them verified by a doctor at least about two months into her first term. Today, it takes about a week before your already missed period because pregnancy tests are everywhere.
But this scene absolutely floored me, nevertheless. It was a truly moving scene, and I wasn’t sure if Lin was really crying in that moment either. He sounded like he was choked up, and I couldn’t tell if it was real. Especially what I couldn’t imagine what would happen next, which was on the B-side of the 46-song set list double album soundtrack. When their firstborn son, Philip Hamilton, died by gun violence, which is typical for people living on the streets today. And yes, I’ve seen and heard my fair share of gun violence happening in my home- Baltimore City is 20 minutes away from my home, and Officer Amy Caprio was shot and killed five minutes away from me outside of BJ’s Wholesale on my street, Belair Road, about a year ago. And months after that was the Capitol Gazzette shooting, which happened in Annapolis, close enough to where I live- I live in Maryland. #1 for gun violence and teen pregnancy. You guessed it.
The song “It’s Quiet Uptown” almost moved me to tears. Especially when I saw Lin’s performance in it. It was amazing how Philippa Soo as Eliza could hold it together so well. He couldn’t hold a straight face. Ever.
(Video removed from YouTu
At almost four minutes in, at 3:57, Lin actually breaks character for a split fraction of a moment. His stoic face immediately melts into total agony and depression.
Oh, baby, somebody should hug you. C’mere.
Come on, guys. I’m still a human and a lady. I’m not heartless. And don’t you dare use the phrase “the feels” because that slang word doesn’t compare to how I feel when I see that scene. I call it “emotional mixed with trepidation” because I know how to use a thistlesaurus- I mean thesaurus. That guy seriously needed a hug in that scene. Either it was the stage lights and the camera, or his whole face was wet because he couldn’t stop crying hysterically. Poor sweetie. Hugs welcome, honey, c’mere, it’s all right, I know, shhhh.
But here’s the rub to make sense of all this. The YouTube user basically put the analogy like this-
Man whose wife is dead = widower
Woman whose husband died = widow
Child who’s got no family because his/her parents died and there’s no one to take care of said child = orphan
Parents whose child dies = ?????????
“There is suffering too terrible to name… we push away the unimaginable.”
The YouTuber basically said these exact words in their comment: “There are no words to describe parents who have lost a child.”
Oh dear god. That covers EVERYTHING.
In Pride and Prejudice, trying to circle back here, Austen talks about how it’s an undeniable truth that men with enough money want companionship. For Alexander Hamilton, he was penniless and poor with no family, but he lived for love and freedom, and he said the money would come later. Eliza Schuyler, who became his wife, also said that a legacy and money would come later, if he had just STAYED ALIVE.
And what did he do instead? He got himself killed by his own coworker, Aaron Burr, delivered to his home in New York, and as the song goes, Eliza and her sister Angelica “were both by his side when he died, death doesn’t discriminate…”
Also, in the final scene “The World was Wide Enough”, for a split second, we see Hamilton throwing away his shot after long and incredulous deliberation inside himself as he looks over his shoulder and considers his life, his future to come, and all the people he loved who’ve died in his past- then Aaron Burr loses his patience and doesn’t wait, the death didn’t discriminate here at all, and the ability and capacity to stay alive wasn’t enough.
Son. Of. A. Bitch.
So, who actually tells the story??? Aaron Burr did get arrested, but because the duel was in New Jersey, according to Wikipedia on the history of this moment and its aftermath, the case was open way too long that they had to release him on a technicality. Dueling with guns was outright illegal in both states of New York and New Jersey, but the penalties of gun duels were more lenient and softer in Jersey than they were in New York. Fuck New Jersey.
In the end, we find out who really does tell the story: It’s ELIZA. A woman, who at the time of the War of 1812 it was impossible for women to be authors or have any job unless they wrote under a pseudonym of a man’s name. Women weren’t granted any rights until the 20th century with the dawn of the Roaring Twenties and the 19th Amendment. But as the finale music goes, Elizabeth Hamilton-Schuyler actually lived 50 more years after the death of her husband, making her death recorded as one of the oldest and longest lives that lived in America during the 19th century- back then, people were expected to die around age 50, 60, or 70. The number one cause of death in the 1800s for women was childbirth and the number one cause of death in men were accidents or epidemics. Again, medicine during the 19th century was ridiculously medieval and something of disgrace and disgust.
The things she did were incredible. Because the man she loved grew up an orphan, she started America’s first orphanage in New York. Eliza and Alexander actually had seven biological children, she was pregnant seven times her whole life (how is her body able to do that in those days???), and one of her children died as a teenager, we know that story. But when she opened the orphanage, she adopted young children like crazy and started giving them forever homes as well, because she hated the idea of having children with no mommies and daddies. She started America’s very first foster care system. You could hear the deepest sadness in her voice in “It’s Quiet Uptown” even though she didn’t show it, Eliza loved her children, and she was so angry and mortified by her son’s death that she wanted to help more children like her son and her orphaned husband, even though he cheated on her once with Maria Reynolds and wrote The Reynolds Pamphlet about it, in which she decided to run away. She took him back anyway and forgave him, and it started at the time their beloved son died.
Pride and Prejudice also talks deeply about family and money. Charlotte Lucas, who’s Lizzie Bennet’s best friend, tells her after Lizzie turns down her cousin Mr. Collins’s offer of marriage, that Charlotte and Mr. Collins are getting married, and it hasn’t been a week later since Lizzie rejected him. Charlotte tells Lizzie three things: 1- romance in marriage is optional and money is more important than love so you can have a roof over your head and protection, 2- she’s 27, and most people in England find it disagreeable in those days for a woman over the age of 25 to find a good husband because society thinks a young woman in her 30s is an old maid (HEY! I’m 32 years old and I’m still dating, IDIOTS!), and 3- her family is dirt poor and they can’t provide for her anymore, so they’re kicking her out of the house because in those days, women were useless and were used as commodities and possessions and not people. “So don’t judge me, Lizzie…”
That’s why I was so angry with Hamilton having powerful women in this show, because women still had no rights in those days. But again, this performance had minorities playing all the roles, including having a black George Washington, played by the handsome, talented, and charismatic Christopher Jackson, who played Benny in the original cast of In the Heights and is one of the founding members of Freestyle Love Supreme as rapper name C-Jack. Sigh.
Oh, and in case you didn’t know, I had my sights on the man who played Marquis De Lafayette and Thomas Jefferson in that musical too, who’s now in Hollywood filming a TV show called Snowpiercer after winning his first Tony Award. Daveed Diggs performing “What’d I Miss” was a little of jazz and Motown, kind of like The Big Bopper and Little Richard, almost. He so FINE. Yum yum. Daveed Diggs, baby, call me.
So back to the women in power thing, Eliza was given lots of prospects, unlike poor Charlotte Lucas. Because she was a widow of a man in power, she actually had the upper hand. She was able to put the rest of Hamilton’s plan into action. She was able to publish his letters, as well as the letters he got from Washington and Jefferson. As she says in the song, “I put myself back in the narrative,” and she kept writing, for the last five decades of her life. It would also be honest to mention that Hamilton did eventually take care of her. The Schuyler Sisters’ father was a hard rich man who believed that his daughters should marry rich. But when he gave Eliza away to Hamilton, it was almost as if there was a trust between the two of them, especially in what is my favorite song from the musical, quite honestly:
("Helpless" original scene removed due to copyright)
Uh… No way, that’s not a Hamilton song. That’s not Lin-Manuel Miranda’s songwriting. He didn’t write that song. No, that was in Waitress! Sara Bareilles should be singing this! No frakking way, Lin, you did NOT write this song! That is a romantic song that only Sara Bareilles would write- No, Alicia Keys, more accurately-
No, I’ve just listened to “3 Hour Drive” on Alicia Keys’s episode on Song Exploder on Netflix. GodDAMN, what the hell does this song supposed to sound like, I mean- NO!
ShutupshutupshutupshutupSHUTUP!!!!!
But something still holds me back from hating this musical.
“Why are you writing like you’re running out of time?”
Hamilton was trying to do too many things at once because he didn’t have enough time then. Lin-Manuel Miranda also said in an interview with Song Exploder in the Netflix episode, that Hamilton viciously wanted to die and he had no time left on this Earth. Which is how I made this connection:
“ELIZA! My love, take your time! I’ll see you on the other side…”
And Hamilton, now choking on his tears, raises his gun to the sky above him, and chokingly sings, “Raise a glass to freedom…”
WAIT!
*Gunshot fires*
WHAM.
I jumped immediately. Not the first time when I heard the song, because it was close to five in the morning when I finally finished listening to the whole thing. I jumped when I saw that shot in the video, “The World was Wide Enough”, where Aaron Burr finally takes over in telling the story of the murder and the aftermath. The entire layout and stage arrangement of that scene, including the moving FLOOR that is turning like a record on a turntable (!!!), was never even done like anything I’ve ever seen in a musical recording before, because all the Broadway musicals I’ve seen were in movie format.
Dahmmeeeeeeet.
There needs to be a part four now.
To be continued…
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