Or...
"The Dream of a Better Tomorrow"
Copyright 2024 Lady in the Blue Box Publishing by Rachel Beth Ahrens. All Rights Reserved. Opinions are my own. Reader discretion is advised.
Well, this is a turn out after being silent again on the blog... But here is the essay nevertheless:
Last March, closer to Easter, I started learning more about God and John Lennox's debates over the fact that God exists and Richard Dawkins is a jerk.
It was all so incredibly fascinating that a man from the UK, from one of the best universities in the world at Cambridge, would end up at Oxford University to talk about philosophy of the Christian faith. In front of confused atheists.
Towards the beginning of spring, I started to believe in God again. I was avidly watching Jonathan Roumie in The Chosen, mesmerized from his portrayal of Jesus, taking all of the passages of Scripture into something that I could understand perfectly.
So, I decided to go back to church again. No, it has NOTHING to do with my dear 'sweet' and really sour and vile grandmother. This time, after about three years since my dad died at the end of 2020, I wanted to join my mom in "church shopping" near home. We found two churches in our area, close by to each other on the way to Churchville, and the congregation and pastors seemed nice at the first church we went to for a couple years when we moved. However, it seemed as if they wanted something from us in order to become members of their church-- they had conditions. We wanted a church without conditions and we wanted my evil sadist of a grandma to stay out of our lives forever for her wicked Trump supporting ways that I won't address here until later.
The second church we went to the following week in March, on St. Patrick's Day, we met the pastor and teacher of the church that did the 11 a.m. service for people with special needs in the other tent from the main service. They also had a Bible study section in the back of the tent for children as well, while the adults had the rest of the two tents of the church to study the passages and in prayer. It seemed really nice, for even though the second tent for special needs adults looked like a gym, it had some quaint messages everywhere. One banner said, "You say... God Says..." and I was able to point out the one line of Scripture where underneath the "You say" part, "No one loves me," while God says, "I love you," according to my favorite quintessential line of the Bible, John 3:16.
We'll get to that message at a later time.
There was even a black and gold banner in the far corner over the exit door across the way, which said in big bold letters, "I AM" -which is actually God's real name according to many sources. And Jesus's name is nestled on the wall next to it on the left hand side.
So, as my mother and I walked inside, the pastor came in and talked to us almost immediately and gave us a free flyer, saying, "Hey, have you any interest in our special needs prom? It's all inclusive, all ages are welcome, I promise you'll all have a good time. It's April 26th at 6 p.m. here at this church!"
It was only a month away after Easter and I already had many questions about it. I wanted to go at least for a do-over prom, but I needed more information than that.
My mother agreed that we needed to ask the right questions first. I already wanted to get started on crocheting that beautiful white prom gown for this prom 2.0, but there were certain variables that needed to be set in stone first. I also needed to do some research, which as a former journalist at Towson U, I did in advance.
My first question: "Is this really all inclusive for everyone with special needs? Like, even for people with chronic pain disabilities, as well as for people who are on the high functioning end of the autism spectrum? I get migraines from TMJ and I have ASD and mental illness."
The pastor said: "Of course we do! This is completely all inclusive. The other side of this church, the other tent, will be strictly for dancing with a dee jay and everything, and you'll be able to party over there. While, on this side of the church in Beyond Capernaum here, will be the quiet area where you can take a rest and maybe escape if it's too noisy or crazy in there. Either way, you'll have a great time."
My second question: "Will there be food?" (Asking for the sake of my boyfriend.)
The pastor said: "Oh yes! There will definitely be food- it's fully catered, you'll have your pick of all kinds of foods, including pizza, pasta, dessert, anything you want. We want all of you to come!"
My last question, after I did research: "I did a little digging and I found out that you guys did the Tim Tebow Foundation Night to Shine event, it was on the news. I'm just curious- is this prom similar to that?"
The pastor finally said: "We used to do Night to Shine, yes, for a number of years before COVID, but we decided to give it to another church as per tradition. But this is called A Night to Remember, and we want to keep bringing it back to our church every year. This will be a great place to do this."
Sidenote on Tim Tebow Foundation's Night to Shine: I found out after a little Google research and internet hole, that Night to Shine is a once a year event where people on all ends of the autism spectrum and people with disabilities go to their church having the Night to Shine event, get all glammed up and dressed for the event in suits, tuxes, gowns, what have you, and they just have a lovely time at a church funded gala dance to celebrate God's love. It's an all ages event, even for those getting their second prom as teenagers or adults, and definitely for those who want to celebrate a do-over prom if they needed one for an escape.
Night to Shine AND Night to Remember, both events, are catered, lots of food served, and the church staff and volunteers pull out all the stops to make it a beautiful night for everyone and for all couples.
Plus, here's the best part of Night to Shine: Everyone, every special guest who attends, is given a crown or tiara as Prom King or Prom Queen at the event. Awesome. Doesn't matter who you are, you are valid and treated with love.
I needed to GO.
As a result of hearing all my questions answered perfectly, I sat down at home after church and got to work on crocheting this next beauty and work of art: the DRESS.
The dress needed to have the right amount of glam and shine, so I used every bit of white yarn I had, as well as some elements of Darn Good Yarn stash that I had to make butterflies and trim. It needed to look even better than my prom dress from May 2006. I used my trusty G hook and finished the dress in under one month, even bringing the dress to church one Sunday morning to crochet before the service started.
The pastor came to every person in the church, including our table, and said, "Woah, look at this! You are so talented! You're just going to town on that, I can't do that myself either!"
I said in response, "Thank you! I've been crocheting since I was six, my mom taught me everything I know- and this dress is for the prom in April! It's nearly done too!"
The pastor gave a look of shock and said, "Wow! Can't wait to see it when it's done! Oh, and love your shirt, by the way."
My favorite t shirt that I was wearing that day said my favorite phrase I end on in every Patreon post, and the phrase is outlined in bold rainbow colored letters: EVERYONE DESERVES LOVE. I was beyond relieved and overjoyed at the same time. This was not just any church, for they catered to everyone with special needs, and they were also LGBTQ+ friendly, very inclusive and progressive. Already, my mom and I were asking each other, "What church does this other than this one?"
Already, we were discussing The Chosen and mathematician John Lennox's findings that God exists and here's why. Even in the next several weeks, we were watching some of Lennox's videos and talking about how he's also a very progressive Christian, saying that he does support Roe vs. Wade and that basic human rights are for everyone, because God should accept everyone, no matter what background you have and no matter what gender identity you are or sexual orientation or ethnicity.
This was really beautiful already. I got excited instantly, and told all of this to Alexander and his mom. They were both thrilled.
However, both my mom and my therapist reminded me again that I'm not allowed to set any expectations for myself or the prom itself either. Even Alexander had to ask me, "What if they play Taylor Swift at the prom? How are you going to handle it?"
Because everyone knows in my family, even my chosen family, I loathe Taylor Swift and have a fierce hatred and anxiety trigger against her. I can't stand her, and there is no popular song I can listen to with a smile on my face because it's so annoying that she makes my ears bleed, to put it bluntly in a close metaphor. Taylor Swift, sadly, has no talent in my opinion, for like Courtney Love said, Swift sounds like every other pop artist and she has no unique redeeming quality about her music. I think I've said that about Time's Person of the Year 2023 before in a previous post. I can't appreciate Taylor Swift on principle, except for the fact that she supports all the good things in life that we need, such as women's healthcare and LGBTQ rights, and anti-racism, encouraging more people to vote. That was good on her part.
The good news was, I had both Alexander and my mom both going to this thing. In the words of Dick Van Dyke, a national treasure, from the movie Chitty Chitty Bang Bang, "I have you two."
When Alexander and I arrived, I figured I'd have a great time regardless. My mom followed close behind as his mom was leaving for her concert, so I was already in good company. There were lines stretching out into the hall and into the second tent where food and drinks were being served, but I also wasn't sure where to go first, because it was so noisy and crowded. My empty stomach made my head go wild with agoraphobia triggers at the same time that my hunger anxiety hit me. Still, as soon as Alexander, mom, and I all sat down with our food first, the hunger anxiety was cooling down.
Then the Taylor Swift "Shake it Off" song came on the speakers with the thumping drums and bass while she quipped, "I stay up too late..."
They played the song TWICE in under two hours, in case no one heard it enough. It started to hurt me physically and emotionally.
Upon telling Alexander and my mom, my boyfriend had to be the voice of reason, saying, "The only good song they played so far was the Walk the Moon song, the only one I recognized. How do you think I feel?"
I said, "Ok, that's true, because you're a metalhead and all the music they're playing is way too poppy."
He nodded and said, "So, can you go easy on that? Are you going to make an enemy of Taylor Swift while we're here now? You don't want to tear other progressive women down."
"Ok, you're right," I admitted. "I still have yet to find a song by Taylor Swift that actually talks the talk and isn't so annoying as this song, or 'Bad Blood', you get the idea."
"But, do you think I'm ever going to hear Taylor Swift do a metal tune," Alexander asked. "I didn't think so. I just think she sounds like the other artists on the radio right now, it's nothing special, and I can tune it out. It's really no big deal."
I just nodded and figured in my head, I wish I could be more like him and just ignore those songs. If only it were that simple... I should have brought my headphones just in case, but then again they wouldn't fit in my purse I brought with me, and I wouldn't be paying attention to anything or anyone around me to be mindful of what was going on in the hall area or the dance hall in the main tent.
After a light dinner of chicken fingers and pasta, right before cutting the cake, we mingled with some familiar faces: We ran into some of Alexander's old friends from high school, including old friends of his mother's as well. We also got to see the pastor who ran Beyond Capernaum on Sunday mornings, who was wearing a very bright and colorful blue suit jacket that reminded me of a peacock or paisley design.
At first, Alexander said to him, "That's a really cool jacket!"
Then he looked over his shoulder and saw me and my mom as we were heading to the dance hall, recognizing us from church immediately. "Hey, Rachel and Julie! Good to see you both! You made it!"
"Yes we did," I said with a smile.
The pastor motioned to me and said, "Love your dress! You look incredible!"
The dress I wore took a little less than a month to design and handcraft with crochet, and the shawl I crocheted from a pattern by Yarnspirations took me about two weeks before the prom itself--I had finished the shawl that Friday morning before Alexander and his mom went to a movie that afternoon.
I said, "Thanks! I'm glad I finished making it in time, the shawl too."
"You are so talented," the pastor told me. Then to my mom and boyfriend, "She is so talented! It's really amazing how she did all that!"
"This is my boyfriend, Alexander, by the way," I said.
My amazing boyfriend finally recognized that this was the leader and teacher of our Bible Study and message every Sunday, and Alexander shook his hand, saying, "Sorry, I didn't say anything before, I do like your jacket, it's awesome."
"Nice to meet you, Alexander," the pastor said with a big smile. "Such a grand name!"
"Yeah, it used to be Alex, but there are so many guys named Alex anyway, so I'm reverting back to Alexander."
"That's awesome," said the pastor. "You guys had something to eat? You're going to dance?"
We all nodded. This pastor was a pretty cool dude.
"Ok, great. Definitely get some photos taken, go dance, enjoy the prom! So good to see you!"
When we arrived in the main ballroom in the other tent, it was wall to wall people with big round tables, blue and silver tablecloths, and blue balloons, plus some big marquees on the screens that said: Night To Remember Prom April 26, 2024. There was a dee jay on the stage where the pastors would give their sermons, with a big sign of the Cross behind him, and one of the Beyond Capernaum crew was sitting on the stage, the kid wearing a suit while playing his guitar underneath the loud music. The song choice: "Can't Stop the Feeling" by Justin Timberlake from the Trolls Soundtrack.
It was dancing time, for after my dad passed away, I learned to appreciate the Trolls movie more, since my dad had told me years ago that the movie was really fun and I was missing out. I was finally retraining my brain to find some love for JT from N*Sync, back when I loved boy bands as a middle school preteen.
There was a slight catch: Some people were talking and standing with each other, just milling about and mingling closer to the doors, the crowd closer to the dee jay were dancing, others were just going in and out through the wrong enter and exit doors like there was no designated enter or exit door. It had gone beyond madness and there was no elbow room to dance. I think there was only one person who gave Alexander a hard time with dancing too close to him and his date.
Thankfully, after the cake was served and we had some, and later we had our pictures taken, we made our way back to the main ballroom tent, where they played a Billy Idol song that Alexander and I both loved, and we bopped to it a little. After the song ended, it immediately melted into "Taking Care of Business", in which a huge conga line filled the room for all of us to follow. Though Alexander and I didn't get a slow dance all night because of how crowded the room was, the conga line dance during "Taking Care of Business" made up for everything, since he had to work at the hospital the next day anyway.
As soon as the dee jay played the same Taylor Swift "Shake it Off" song again after the song ended, we were almost ready to leave. We got our take home goodie bags, sat down to take a load off, and looked at the time. It was nearly 8 p.m., and my mom was really bushed, for she also had to work all weekend into Sunday afternoon, missing our morning church service. It was time to go home in the silent sunset.
I was glad to be going home early, even though the dee jay was now playing "When a Man Loves A Woman", and I wanted to slow dance with my sweetie. Still, it was a good thing we weren't leaving in the middle of a gridlock with too many cars parked all the way up the hill to the old church building outside the tents. Upon arriving at Alexander's home where I stayed the night, we took a couple more photos of my crochet dress while also house sitting and taking care of his rescue pup Lilly for the night. A couple hours into the night, we sipped a little Irish cream to toast to a good evening at our do over prom, and already, our tongues were tired from so much laughing, dancing, and talking.
I've also never had Irish cream before that evening, and it's delicious, like chocolate mixed with smooth liquor, heavier on the chocolate. I basically had a taste of it, since I didn't drink that much and the bottle was nearly empty.
Before we got into our jammies and turned out the lights to go to sleep, I told him, "Best prom night ever for a do over. This is exactly what I needed in 2006."
Alexander said, "I agree, though my prom was ok, though I just didn't have a date, and you had a miserable prom, but we're not going into that again."
"Exactly," I said. "I think this was a very good thing we did together. Want to do this again next year, maybe?"
He said, "Sure. Why not? I had a great time."
We kissed, and we told each other how much we loved each other.
"Love you forever times infinity," I said.
"Love you forever times infinity and a day," Alexander said as he held me and kissed me again.
High school was never like this. Go to prom when you're an adult, kids, you won't regret it. There's no torture, there's no bullying, no sexual harassment, no craziness or fluffy stuff, and no breakups following that.
Just love and dancing. That's really all you need.
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