An update on Pink and White Nightmare: Save Gallifrey essay pt 2

Or... 

"The Dream of a Better Tomorrow" 

Copyright 2024 Lady in the Blue Box Publishing by Rachel Beth Ahrens. All Rights Reserved. Opinions are my own. Reader discretion is advised. 

Well, this is a turn out after being silent again on the blog... But here is the essay nevertheless: 

Last March, closer to Easter, I started learning more about God and John Lennox's debates over the fact that God exists and Richard Dawkins is a jerk. 

It was all so incredibly fascinating that a man from the UK, from one of the best universities in the world at Cambridge, would end up at Oxford University to talk about philosophy of the Christian faith. In front of confused atheists. 

Towards the beginning of spring, I started to believe in God again. I was avidly watching Jonathan Roumie in The Chosen, mesmerized from his portrayal of Jesus, taking all of the passages of Scripture into something that I could understand perfectly. 

So, I decided to go back to church again. No, it has NOTHING to do with my dear 'sweet' and really sour and vile grandmother. This time, after about three years since my dad died at the end of 2020, I wanted to join my mom in "church shopping" near home. We found two churches in our area, close by to each other on the way to Churchville, and the congregation and pastors seemed nice at the first church we went to for a couple years when we moved. However, it seemed as if they wanted something from us in order to become members of their church-- they had conditions. We wanted a church without conditions and we wanted my evil sadist of a grandma to stay out of our lives forever for her wicked Trump supporting ways that I won't address here until later. 

The second church we went to the following week in March, on St. Patrick's Day, we met the pastor and teacher of the church that did the 11 a.m. service for people with special needs in the other tent from the main service. They also had a Bible study section in the back of the tent for children as well, while the adults had the rest of the two tents of the church to study the passages and in prayer. It seemed really nice, for even though the second tent for special needs adults looked like a gym, it had some quaint messages everywhere. One banner said, "You say... God Says..." and I was able to point out the one line of Scripture where underneath the "You say" part, "No one loves me," while God says, "I love you," according to my favorite quintessential line of the Bible, John 3:16. 

We'll get to that message at a later time. 

There was even a black and gold banner in the far corner over the exit door across the way, which said in big bold letters, "I AM" -which is actually God's real name according to many sources. And Jesus's name is nestled on the wall next to it on the left hand side. 

So, as my mother and I walked inside, the pastor came in and talked to us almost immediately and gave us a free flyer, saying, "Hey, have you any interest in our special needs prom? It's all inclusive, all ages are welcome, I promise you'll all have a good time. It's April 26th at 6 p.m. here at this church!" 

It was only a month away after Easter and I already had many questions about it. I wanted to go at least for a do-over prom, but I needed more information than that. 

My mother agreed that we needed to ask the right questions first. I already wanted to get started on crocheting that beautiful white prom gown for this prom 2.0, but there were certain variables that needed to be set in stone first. I also needed to do some research, which as a former journalist at Towson U, I did in advance. 

My first question: "Is this really all inclusive for everyone with special needs? Like, even for people with chronic pain disabilities, as well as for people who are on the high functioning end of the autism spectrum? I get migraines from TMJ and I have ASD and mental illness." 

The pastor said: "Of course we do! This is completely all inclusive. The other side of this church, the other tent, will be strictly for dancing with a dee jay and everything, and you'll be able to party over there. While, on this side of the church in Beyond Capernaum here, will be the quiet area where you can take a rest and maybe escape if it's too noisy or crazy in there. Either way, you'll have a great time." 

My second question: "Will there be food?" (Asking for the sake of my boyfriend.) 

The pastor said: "Oh yes! There will definitely be food- it's fully catered, you'll have your pick of all kinds of foods, including pizza, pasta, dessert, anything you want. We want all of you to come!" 

My last question, after I did research: "I did a little digging and I found out that you guys did the Tim Tebow Foundation Night to Shine event, it was on the news. I'm just curious- is this prom similar to that?" 

The pastor finally said: "We used to do Night to Shine, yes, for a number of years before COVID, but we decided to give it to another church as per tradition. But this is called A Night to Remember, and we want to keep bringing it back to our church every year. This will be a great place to do this." 

Sidenote on Tim Tebow Foundation's Night to Shine: I found out after a little Google research and internet hole, that Night to Shine is a once a year event where people on all ends of the autism spectrum and people with disabilities go to their church having the Night to Shine event, get all glammed up and dressed for the event in suits, tuxes, gowns, what have you, and they just have a lovely time at a church funded gala dance to celebrate God's love. It's an all ages event, even for those getting their second prom as teenagers or adults, and definitely for those who want to celebrate a do-over prom if they needed one for an escape. 

Night to Shine AND Night to Remember, both events, are catered, lots of food served, and the church staff and volunteers pull out all the stops to make it a beautiful night for everyone and for all couples. 

Plus, here's the best part of Night to Shine: Everyone, every special guest who attends, is given a crown or tiara as Prom King or Prom Queen at the event. Awesome. Doesn't matter who you are, you are valid and treated with love. 

I needed to GO. 

As a result of hearing all my questions answered perfectly, I sat down at home after church and got to work on crocheting this next beauty and work of art: the DRESS. 

The dress needed to have the right amount of glam and shine, so I used every bit of white yarn I had, as well as some elements of Darn Good Yarn stash that I had to make butterflies and trim. It needed to look even better than my prom dress from May 2006. I used my trusty G hook and finished the dress in under one month, even bringing the dress to church one Sunday morning to crochet before the service started. 

The pastor came to every person in the church, including our table, and said, "Woah, look at this! You are so talented! You're just going to town on that, I can't do that myself either!" 

I said in response, "Thank you! I've been crocheting since I was six, my mom taught me everything I know- and this dress is for the prom in April! It's nearly done too!" 

The pastor gave a look of shock and said, "Wow! Can't wait to see it when it's done! Oh, and love your shirt, by the way." 

My favorite t shirt that I was wearing that day said my favorite phrase I end on in every Patreon post, and the phrase is outlined in bold rainbow colored letters: EVERYONE DESERVES LOVE. I was beyond relieved and overjoyed at the same time. This was not just any church, for they catered to everyone with special needs, and they were also LGBTQ+ friendly, very inclusive and progressive. Already, my mom and I were asking each other, "What church does this other than this one?" 

Already, we were discussing The Chosen and mathematician John Lennox's findings that God exists and here's why. Even in the next several weeks, we were watching some of Lennox's videos and talking about how he's also a very progressive Christian, saying that he does support Roe vs. Wade and that basic human rights are for everyone, because God should accept everyone, no matter what background you have and no matter what gender identity you are or sexual orientation or ethnicity. 

This was really beautiful already. I got excited instantly, and told all of this to Alexander and his mom. They were both thrilled. 

However, both my mom and my therapist reminded me again that I'm not allowed to set any expectations for myself or the prom itself either. Even Alexander had to ask me, "What if they play Taylor Swift at the prom? How are you going to handle it?" 

Because everyone knows in my family, even my chosen family, I loathe Taylor Swift and have a fierce hatred and anxiety trigger against her. I can't stand her, and there is no popular song I can listen to with a smile on my face because it's so annoying that she makes my ears bleed, to put it bluntly in a close metaphor. Taylor Swift, sadly, has no talent in my opinion, for like Courtney Love said, Swift sounds like every other pop artist and she has no unique redeeming quality about her music. I think I've said that about Time's Person of the Year 2023 before in a previous post. I can't appreciate Taylor Swift on principle, except for the fact that she supports all the good things in life that we need, such as women's healthcare and LGBTQ rights, and anti-racism, encouraging more people to vote. That was good on her part. 

The good news was, I had both Alexander and my mom both going to this thing. In the words of Dick Van Dyke, a national treasure, from the movie Chitty Chitty Bang Bang, "I have you two." 

When Alexander and I arrived, I figured I'd have a great time regardless. My mom followed close behind as his mom was leaving for her concert, so I was already in good company. There were lines stretching out into the hall and into the second tent where food and drinks were being served, but I also wasn't sure where to go first, because it was so noisy and crowded. My empty stomach made my head go wild with agoraphobia triggers at the same time that my hunger anxiety hit me. Still, as soon as Alexander, mom, and I all sat down with our food first, the hunger anxiety was cooling down. 

Then the Taylor Swift "Shake it Off" song came on the speakers with the thumping drums and bass while she quipped, "I stay up too late..." 

They played the song TWICE in under two hours, in case no one heard it enough. It started to hurt me physically and emotionally. 

Upon telling Alexander and my mom, my boyfriend had to be the voice of reason, saying, "The only good song they played so far was the Walk the Moon song, the only one I recognized. How do you think I feel?" 

I said, "Ok, that's true, because you're a metalhead and all the music they're playing is way too poppy." 

He nodded and said, "So, can you go easy on that? Are you going to make an enemy of Taylor Swift while we're here now? You don't want to tear other progressive women down." 

"Ok, you're right," I admitted. "I still have yet to find a song by Taylor Swift that actually talks the talk and isn't so annoying as this song, or 'Bad Blood', you get the idea." 

"But, do you think I'm ever going to hear Taylor Swift do a metal tune," Alexander asked. "I didn't think so. I just think she sounds like the other artists on the radio right now, it's nothing special, and I can tune it out. It's really no big deal." 

I just nodded and figured in my head, I wish I could be more like him and just ignore those songs. If only it were that simple... I should have brought my headphones just in case, but then again they wouldn't fit in my purse I brought with me, and I wouldn't be paying attention to anything or anyone around me to be mindful of what was going on in the hall area or the dance hall in the main tent. 

After a light dinner of chicken fingers and pasta, right before cutting the cake, we mingled with some familiar faces: We ran into some of Alexander's old friends from high school, including old friends of his mother's as well. We also got to see the pastor who ran Beyond Capernaum on Sunday mornings, who was wearing a very bright and colorful blue suit jacket that reminded me of a peacock or paisley design. 

At first, Alexander said to him, "That's a really cool jacket!" 

Then he looked over his shoulder and saw me and my mom as we were heading to the dance hall, recognizing us from church immediately. "Hey, Rachel and Julie! Good to see you both! You made it!" 

"Yes we did," I said with a smile. 

The pastor motioned to me and said, "Love your dress! You look incredible!" 

The dress I wore took a little less than a month to design and handcraft with crochet, and the shawl I crocheted from a pattern by Yarnspirations took me about two weeks before the prom itself--I had finished the shawl that Friday morning before Alexander and his mom went to a movie that afternoon. 

I said, "Thanks! I'm glad I finished making it in time, the shawl too." 

"You are so talented," the pastor told me. Then to my mom and boyfriend, "She is so talented! It's really amazing how she did all that!" 

"This is my boyfriend, Alexander, by the way," I said. 

My amazing boyfriend finally recognized that this was the leader and teacher of our Bible Study and message every Sunday, and Alexander shook his hand, saying, "Sorry, I didn't say anything before, I do like your jacket, it's awesome." 

"Nice to meet you, Alexander," the pastor said with a big smile. "Such a grand name!" 

"Yeah, it used to be Alex, but there are so many guys named Alex anyway, so I'm reverting back to Alexander." 

"That's awesome," said the pastor. "You guys had something to eat? You're going to dance?" 

We all nodded. This pastor was a pretty cool dude. 

"Ok, great. Definitely get some photos taken, go dance, enjoy the prom! So good to see you!" 

When we arrived in the main ballroom in the other tent, it was wall to wall people with big round tables, blue and silver tablecloths, and blue balloons, plus some big marquees on the screens that said: Night To Remember Prom April 26, 2024. There was a dee jay on the stage where the pastors would give their sermons, with a big sign of the Cross behind him, and one of the Beyond Capernaum crew was sitting on the stage, the kid wearing a suit while playing his guitar underneath the loud music. The song choice: "Can't Stop the Feeling" by Justin Timberlake from the Trolls Soundtrack. 

It was dancing time, for after my dad passed away, I learned to appreciate the Trolls movie more, since my dad had told me years ago that the movie was really fun and I was missing out. I was finally retraining my brain to find some love for JT from N*Sync, back when I loved boy bands as a middle school preteen. 

There was a slight catch: Some people were talking and standing with each other, just milling about and mingling closer to the doors, the crowd closer to the dee jay were dancing, others were just going in and out through the wrong enter and exit doors like there was no designated enter or exit door. It had gone beyond madness and there was no elbow room to dance. I think there was only one person who gave Alexander a hard time with dancing too close to him and his date. 

Thankfully, after the cake was served and we had some, and later we had our pictures taken, we made our way back to the main ballroom tent, where they played a Billy Idol song that Alexander and I both loved, and we bopped to it a little. After the song ended, it immediately melted into "Taking Care of Business", in which a huge conga line filled the room for all of us to follow. Though Alexander and I didn't get a slow dance all night because of how crowded the room was, the conga line dance during "Taking Care of Business" made up for everything, since he had to work at the hospital the next day anyway. 

As soon as the dee jay played the same Taylor Swift "Shake it Off" song again after the song ended, we were almost ready to leave. We got our take home goodie bags, sat down to take a load off, and looked at the time. It was nearly 8 p.m., and my mom was really bushed, for she also had to work all weekend into Sunday afternoon, missing our morning church service. It was time to go home in the silent sunset. 

I was glad to be going home early, even though the dee jay was now playing "When a Man Loves A Woman", and I wanted to slow dance with my sweetie. Still, it was a good thing we weren't leaving in the middle of a gridlock with too many cars parked all the way up the hill to the old church building outside the tents. Upon arriving at Alexander's home where I stayed the night, we took a couple more photos of my crochet dress while also house sitting and taking care of his rescue pup Lilly for the night. A couple hours into the night, we sipped a little Irish cream to toast to a good evening at our do over prom, and already, our tongues were tired from so much laughing, dancing, and talking. 

I've also never had Irish cream before that evening, and it's delicious, like chocolate mixed with smooth liquor, heavier on the chocolate. I basically had a taste of it, since I didn't drink that much and the bottle was nearly empty. 

Before we got into our jammies and turned out the lights to go to sleep, I told him, "Best prom night ever for a do over. This is exactly what I needed in 2006." 

Alexander said, "I agree, though my prom was ok, though I just didn't have a date, and you had a miserable prom, but we're not going into that again." 

"Exactly," I said. "I think this was a very good thing we did together. Want to do this again next year, maybe?" 

He said, "Sure. Why not? I had a great time." 

We kissed, and we told each other how much we loved each other. 

"Love you forever times infinity," I said. 

"Love you forever times infinity and a day," Alexander said as he held me and kissed me again. 

High school was never like this. Go to prom when you're an adult, kids, you won't regret it. There's no torture, there's no bullying, no sexual harassment, no craziness or fluffy stuff, and no breakups following that. 

Just love and dancing. That's really all you need. 

Playlist selection- 

   

Wishing Stars and Goats Too – Disney’s Wish movie

Why We Need Disney Princesses: An Intro 

Rachel Beth Ahrens 

Opinions are my own, 2023 Lady in the Blue Box Publishing. All Rights Reserved.

Reader Discretion is Advised for most of this blog post. This is geared towards people 16+ in age. This is an op-ed article for those wanting to know more about why we need Disney, even though things are crappy in this day and age.

Spoilers galore of multiple movies. You are warned.

 

After a long sabbatical from my Blogger account to tend to my Patreon page, I am back and writing again for my blog, Lady in the Blue Box.

I know I haven’t written in months since I saw Hamilton at the Hippodrome in Baltimore in 2022, but I think the wait is over for me to write more about things that are currently on my mind at the time of the holidays.

For more information on how my writings are doing, please visit my new Ream page- reamstories.com/rachelbethahrens

Also, if you haven’t done so already, become a patron of my Ream account to see my completed unabridged version of Debutante of Cassiopeia, now live on my Ream page! Or, if you want to support my female neurodivergent owned small business, become a patron on my Patreon here: patreon.com/arachelbethahrenscreation

Now, let’s get down to business on why I’ve started another brand new Disney-themed mini dissertation on the Disney girls… And why we need them…

Now, I know what you’re thinking and you’re definitely right. Disney’s methodology has changed in recent years to be more inclusive and more progressive, which is actually a good thing, but the whole hero’s journey bit with every Disney Princess out there has got to stop. That is absolutely true, I’ve got your back. Every Disney Princess through each movie with a female character is told and programmed to work hard to make their dreams come true, and honestly, after what I’ve seen of the things people say on social media and in real life, yes, it’s got to end and I empathize. I’m sick and tired of seeing Mary Sue types and tropes out in media.

The only exception is in the movie Strange World, where there are strong female characters as well, but only as two dimensional characters in the background for the most part, with the exception of the mother character who pilots the ship around the land to find out what is making the energy source Pando sick. We’re mostly following teenager Ethan Clade, his father Searcher, the farmer and botanist who grows Pando in the backyard, and Ethan’s grandfather, the legendary traveler and explorer Jaeger Clade, who decided to go under the mountains to keep exploring their world. 

Strange World is super cool because this is the first time we see a three dimensional young character as Ethan, a gay teenager who loves this super awesome card game that’s all about working together with your resources and other players to make a living with what you have, which is a clue on how to save their planet—(Spoiler here) Besides, the entire civilization of people in this movie is living on the back of a big creature that looks like a turtle!

Of course, this movie got horrible reviews and bombed in terms of revenue as the 61st animated movie of Disney Animated Studios, because people thought it was “too woke” and too progressive for people and kids—To which I say, fuck DeSantis and all this garbage about how this movie should be banned. I happen to LOVE Ethan Clade the most, he’s the best character in it and he ends up showing his dad and grandfather the best and most noble part, the moral part of the story: TAKE CARE OF YOUR PLANET, YOUR PLANET WILL TAKE CARE OF YOU! It’s the same principle in Pixar’s WALL-E, but in doing so, showing the evil darker side of capitalism in that if you don’t take care of your planet, bad things will happen for your future and other generations to come.

Now, back to the Disney Princesses, I’m going off on a tangent here… But I adore Strange World, it’s a great movie to show your kids. Screw this garbage about LGBTQ hate—Ethan is an awesome character, and love is love for God’s sake…

If you remember Disney’s Encanto in my December 2021 episode of The King of Broadway is Dead…, I made it perfectly clear on how Mirabel Madrigal is definitely fitting in nicely as the newest Disney Princess in the fold, especially for the big number 60 in the number of animated movies by Disney Animation Studios, before there was Strange World and Wish. In the same principle of this theme of Disney Princesses, not only did Mirabel win the hearts and minds of many children and audiences around the world, translated into many languages, including Spanish for it was even shown as far as Mexico and South America, Encanto is one of the biggest movies to do well in the Box Office after 2020 with COVID19, especially doing phenomenally well on streaming on Disney+. Even though the numbers at the Box Office in 2021 were staggering to make ends meet, it was really because of COVID19 that those numbers didn’t do so well at theatres when people went to the movies. A ton has changed since 2020 with streaming, and sad to say, Lin-Manuel Miranda still didn’t get his Oscar for the award winning song, they gave it to Billie Eilish for James Bond’s latest film No Time To Die.

(Who cares, in my opinion—because I preferred Adele’s theme from Skyfall. How many times do they have to give Oscars to the Bond movies? Can the Academy stop being racist and give the Oscar to Lin-Manuel Miranda just once and stop feeding the masses with Hollywood’s richest white people??? Also, I hated the last Daniel Craig Bond movie because of the ending, my father would have hated it also- for the love of all that’s holy, don’t kill off Bond.)

(However, for the record—Billie Eilish’s song from the Barbie movie dir. Greta Gerwig, which was called “What Was I Made For”, was beautiful and poignant, definitely worth a Golden Globe award for Best Song. The song plays at the right moment between Barbie and her creator, and that moment almost drove me to tears a second time—the first time I actually cried in the theatre watching Barbie was America Ferrera’s incredible feminist speech about how women are all tired of the bullshit we’re fed by men and the patriarchy of this country. It’s well written and well executed. There, I’m done.)

Anyway, I felt so much for the people who made Encanto, in my opinion, because Disney finally won an Oscar for Best Animated Feature for that movie, which was well deserved. In my book, that’s a big win for those who needed representation, and it’s a flawless, whimsical, colorful, gorgeous film about Mirabel Madrigal, a teenager with no gift in her magical gifted family and a magical house, only to discover that the magic and the miracle are both fading, and it’s because she was given no gift and Mirabel is underrepresented in her family.

It's about time that Mirabel is given the opportunity to shine as the newest Princess, because she actually DOES get a gift at the end—from the get go, we know that Mirabel talks to the house, Casita (Spanish = little house), and the house itself is sentient, having sweet reactions to everything she says and does. Mirabel is only trying to help her family, and Abuela Alma tries to crush it because she still believes Mirabel has no gift and is a problem child for only getting in the way of everyone. But Mirabel is actually misunderstood, and everything Abuela is doing to stop her is literally crushing her soul—we hear Mirabel’s voice as her soul is being crushed in my favorite song “Waiting on a Miracle”. But in the end, we discover when Mirabel gets a brand new doorknob as a gift from her family, after rebuilding the house from the ground up because it had to break and fall apart when she and Abuela were fighting. As a result, when Mirabel puts in the new doorknob that has an M on it, M for Madrigal, but also notice that Mirabel’s initials are M.M., the only Madrigal family member with those initials, that means, the magic of the house belongs to her!!! The magic and miracle of Casita return, restoring the factory settings on the house. And we really do discover at the end that her magical family gets all their gifts back, but it's all because of HER, Mirabel. 

After all, after the song “Dos Oruguitas”, when Abuela Alma returns with Mirabel and Bruno in her arms, she sings, “The miracle is YOU.” That’s a clue that the real miracle goes to Mirabel, she’s next in line in the family to have the house belonging to her. She does have magic.

Also, unlike the rest of the Disney Princesses- Mirabel does NOT need a man to save her!

The whole hero’s journey and the whole patriarchy of said trope needs to stop, you’re absolutely right. They mention this problem call back in Wreck It Ralph: Ralph Breaks the Internet, where Princess Vanellope Von Schweetz meets the other Disney Princesses, back before we had Disney’s newest Princesses in Encanto and Wish. Back when we just added Elsa and Anna from the cursed Frozen (Sorry, but I’m kind of sick of that movie, it’s been done to death in the media, and I’m sick of hearing about Olaf the Snowman. Every Christmas, I get tired of hearing about Frozen, my bad, so sorry, it’s my least favorite Princess story from the conglomerate), Queen Elsa mentions if Vanellope has magic hands like she does, and Vanellope says no to all of the Princesses’ questions. From that to, “Kidnapped or enslaved?” and Vanellope says, “Ew, no! Is there a problem here, should I call the authorities?”

Until she says, finally, “I don’t even have a mom!”

Princesses (the ones who have no moms, like Ariel and Jasmine): ”Neither do WE!”

And finally, Rapunzel asks the million dollar question trope of the mother of all hero’s journey issues with all the Princesses in Disney itself: “Do people assume that all your problems were solved because some big strong man showed up?”

Vanellope: “YES! What is up with that?”

All Princesses: “She IS a Princess!” (Snow White sings.)

Yes, it’s a funny joke that even makes me laugh, but only up to a point because that was the whole Walt Disney methodology until VERY recently. It’s getting tiresome and it’s about fucking time that the princess saves herself and she doesn’t need a man to show up and save her ass.

The hero’s journey trope does need to stop, because we want to be more inclusive of status, sexual orientation, gender, and neurodiversity.

It’s about damn time that the hero’s journey was blown apart with movies like Encanto and especially Wish. Here’s why.

At first, it’s not really canon that Mirabel has magic powers like the rest of her family, because when she was a child during the gift ceremony, the door disappeared before her eyes and the magic candle of Casita flickered in Abuela Alma’s hands. That was a clue that maybe Mirabel didn’t deserve that happening to her, and it was a clue that Abuela was wrong and Bruno’s visions never lied—The house had to fall apart because the family was dysfunctional, even though the townspeople of Columbia thought the family Madrigal was perfect. It was far from perfect. I mean, Abuela Alma had to raise her triplet children from birth by herself, and she was dealing with a ton of trauma from losing her husband, Abuelo Pedro, after he was killed in front of her by the Columbian soldiers during the civil war of the late 1890s. Abuela Alma couldn’t keep the house running all by herself without help from EVERYONE in the family, she couldn’t afford to leave anyone out, but she left someone out anyway… Poor Mirabel and Bruno.

This is not really a hero’s journey that we’re talking about in Encanto, per se, because this was really a person versus society and family trope in the plotline of the movie.

With Disney’s Wish, same thing. There are a ton of tropes of new progressive plotlines in the movie that I saw last weekend with my boyfriend Alexander: Asha, the newest Disney Princess, is the very first ever Princess who is of Afro-Caribbean-Latina descent, as she’s also played by an actress who identifies as Afro-Latina and queer, Hamilton’s Ariana DeBose. And this time, there is NO big strong man in her way to get what she wants in this plotline! Asha’s best friend Dahlia is also the very first Disney best friend character to have a disability too! This is fully awesome to end all antiquated Walt Disney tropes going as far back as the 1930s.

As a matter of fact, this is the first time we see Chris Pine playing a villain, as King Magnifico, who is incredibly vain and full of himself, doing what Disney Princes do at some parts. But he’s more of a Gaston character who is arrogant and conceited, but he’s got magical powers that he eventually abuses later in the film. This debunks another conglomerate trope that eventually too much power corrupts someone. If we think about this politically, King Magnifico is definitely corrupted not just by magic, but having ultimate power as a sorcerer and a king. This is why our Founding Fathers of the United States back in the late 18th century said no more kings, we need to elect a President and only allow him to serve limited terms, so that the government is rigged to protect itself. We do not want a dictatorship or we’d end up with someone worse than Hitler in WWII, and we don’t want another oligarchy because nobody wants apartheid either. We don’t want people in power too long because corruption happens all too often and greed can turn people into something ugly.

Unfortunately, this is also how I feel about the positions of Congress and Supreme Court, that at some point, something’s got to give, and honestly, those seats in Congress and SCOTUS both need to serve limited terms at some point, that way it’s fair. We keep voting for the same people every 2-4 years for each Delegate and Senator, it’s getting maddening out there when each of those people gets their tenure renewed and no one is doing anything about it. It’s got to stop. Also, DeSantis is a bastard anyway.

Now, back to Wish: The thing about Asha is she’s an honest hero trying to rip open the truth about the corrupted King of Rosas, but no matter what she does, he keeps getting in the way of her. The most amazing part of this is, Asha has this big MAJOR wish that she wishes on a star that literally comes to life in her own forest, granting so much magic and energy for all plant life and animals too. Her goat Valentino talks! (Voiced by the legendary voice actor and former pilot of the Firefly Serenity, Alan Tudyk) And we all love the goat, he’s hilarious. With the help of Star and Valentino, Asha makes it a mission to give everybody in the city their wishes back. But King Magnifico things that granting everybody’s wishes are just too dangerous, when he’s already corrupted and becoming too dangerous himself, and even his wife, the Queen, sees it! The Queen of Rosas sees right through him and actually becomes a secret double agent for Asha, plotting a plan to take down the monarchy and the corrupted king himself, which is warranted. A double cross on a very bad monarch. This is feminism in the right way, people.

Also, if I might add, this movie has been in the making for a good century, guys. Since Disney was founded in 1923, Walt Disney’s dream started with a wishing star during a movie. That movie that he made later in the 1930s and 40s was eventually Pinocchio, where Jiminy Cricket is singing the classic Disney song that paved the way to be the theme song for Walt Disney Pictures, for all of his movies long after Walt’s death from lung cancer in December 1966. Walt Disney wanted to make a picture based on a wishing star character, but he never got around to making it, because he died before making that dream a reality.

In 2018, more than 50 years since Walt’s passing, the creative team at Disney Animation Studios got to work on the movie Wish, as a tribute to Walt Disney’s dream. This time, it was constantly scrapped, in rewriting and revision numerous times, and in 2020, COVID19 hit, and the movie was on hold for another year or two because of the virus killing millions in hospitals and putting production on hold for all movies in Hollywood.

It was basically the Sleeping Beauty problem, as I’ve been calling it lately. My mom once told me during early 2020 when COVID hit Maryland next, that it was just like the fairies putting the townspeople to sleep for 100 years because they didn’t want anyone to find out that Princess Aurora’s curse came true and she was in sleeping death by the poisoned spindle by the evil witch. The same thing happened in 2020, in a more modern time, because more people were dying of this horrible illness, and we needed to stop the spread of illness in its path. We didn’t want people to get sick with this terrible thing, and we also wanted to keep our people safe, so the only way we could do that was sleep away the year 2020, putting every project, every job, every family meeting on hold for the entire year until we had the first COVID vaccine. Does that make sense?

Therefore, Disney’s Wish proves something very important in the end of the film—Spoiler here…

The transition in Act Three of the film almost got me to cry at the end of the film, and I started forming tears after the climax of the movie was over. The biggest clincher was when the true colors of King Magnifico were revealed to the entire City of Rosas, and he was intent of destroying everyone’s wishes, their dreams, their deepest desires, as well as Asha’s wish that became Star. He was just about to use Star’s abilities for his own cause and draw in all the power for himself, blocking out all the stars in the sky with clouds, and conjuring vines throughout the city to make everyone kneel at his mercy. (A little Sleeping Beauty reference with those vines and thorns there…)

But the thing here is, Asha was the only one standing to get up against King Magnifico’s wicked ways. She started singing her rendition of the song “This Wish” from the beginning of the film, as a reminder to the people of Rosas that you can make anything happen for YOU, for yourself, and to hell with what men making your dreams come true.

The king is furious as hell. He starts beating her to the ground with his new dark magic staff made of mirrors and a wicked potion in his forbidden spell book. It works, and I’m about ready to tear up because I feel like King Magnifico was going to murder Asha in cold blood by stabbing her in the chest with his staff.

But then the amazing happens—the town of Rosas is SINGING with her. The same lyrics of “This Wish” was echoing back to her, just as the wishing well of Snow White and the Seven Dwarves was echoing back to Princess Snow White herself in Walt’s first ever movie, the Disney movie that started everything. That’s what breaks the vines, and hurtles Star back up in the sky, forcing the curse to break and putting King Magnifico trapped in his own spell in his mirror staff. Damn.

Even better than that, I’m not going to spoil the real true ending that happens later, but something magical happens between Star and Asha that she eventually gets the power of a magic wishing wand, becoming the first ever fairy godmother. The magic wand also represents the same wishing wand that is used by the beautiful Fairy Godmother in a later Disney movie, Cinderella, of course. And no, there is no romantic love scene between Asha and some dude, Asha gets her own happy ending, because this is a Disney animated movie, number 62 in the number of animated features Disney produced, it’s also 2023 now, so feminism reigns supreme in getting the rest of the nation to wake up and see that no woman needs a hero to save her to achieve her dreams and desires.

That said, we all know the hero’s journey trope all too well, but this here with Wish is the exception.

Princess Asha, the origin story of the very first fairy godmother, is a feminist character telling her story of how heroes don’t need a man, and if you set your mind to things, you can do and be anything you want.

She was giving viewers and children HOPE. The promise of hope for a better tomorrow.

That’s why her 100 year old grandfather, Sabino, voiced by acting legend Victor Garber, in the last cut scene of the film after the credits, is playing a lute. And he plays the song expertly.

What song, you ask?

Jiminy Cricket’s song, the most famous song of Disney Pictures, the theme song, “When You Wish Upon a Star”. And the scene melts perfectly into the brand new Disney Pictures logo and title for 100 Years of Wonder. Disney 100.

Effing brilliant.

Also, you need to see all of the credits to get to the end of the movie, bar none, because the end credits sequence is beautiful, showing you 61 Disney characters from all 61 animated movies, from Snow White, the very first ever directed Disney movie from Walt’s mind in the 1930s, all the way to movies number 60 and 61 with Encanto and Strange World, respectively. And each of the Disney characters are all outlined and sketched in glittering gold paint throughout the credits. It’s unbelievable.

This may be a love letter to Walter Disney, the man who created the wishing star story to all the movies that followed even after his passing in the 60s, but it’s also a call back to the true Disney mission statement that has been revised for 2023 for the future of movies and everything we love. This was probably revised since long after Walt died along with the whole antiquated white man frame of mind that needed to be finished and gone a long time ago.

This is my take on Disney’s new ideology for 2023 into 2024: To bring joy, innocence, love, light, and hope to the future generations to come into this world, no matter what age, no matter what race, ethnicity, sexual orientation, pronouns, gender identity, class, disability, or neurodiversity.

This is the reason why I end all of my Patreon posts with this statement:

“Everyone deserves love.”

Happy New Year, 2024. And a very Happy Holidays to all. Welcome to beyond 100.

To be continued in part two… 

Gmorning Hippodrome, Gnight Hamilton: Chapter 7 of Long Live the King of Broadway

 Copyright 2022 Lady in the Blue Box Publishing, Rachel Beth Ahrens. All Rights Reserved. You know what happens when you plagiarize- it's not nice anyway. Please be kind. 

Opinions are my own. Rated for ages 16+ for language content. Reader discretion is advised. 

Written October 16-17, 2022. 

So, it's been a year since I wrote my most popular post, the "Deep Dive at 3 in the Morning" from Midnight Mania... more than 60 views on that page as well, wow. 

It's also the anniversary, or book birthday, of G'morning, G'night by Lin-Manuel Miranda and Jonny Sun. 

And guess where I am right now? Take a guess. You won't believe this. 

I'm at the Hippodrome Theatre, celebrating the event, by watching the musical of which I spoke of two years ago in 2020. 

That means we have now officially come full circle here. It took two years to get there, but I'm here now. But I have been so long against Hamilton ever since it came out in 2015, I used to hate it with a passion. Now that it's been seven years and I finally got to see it on the live stage for the first time, things have changed, oh my... I'm so sorry to make you guys wait, I know you've waited long enough. Let's skip to the highlights again here... 

I was so tired after the 16th from a long drive from my boyfriend's home in Harford County to get back to Baltimore for the show. I couldn't stop yawning before and after the show because I had been up since 8 a.m. and been on the road for almost two hours going to and from the theatre. In between, however, was an extraordinary experience that I almost wanted to repeat again, because I was alert and excited from start to finish. 

It was a little toasty in the theatre because there were too many people in the audience and coming into the spacious lobby. It was basically a sold out show, and the crowd was immense. Alexander looked like he fit right in, wearing his adorable suit and bow tie, and I was looking like a fool in my crocheted Eliza gown, complete with blue corset and a bonnet, and my friend from college dressed the best way she could in a Schuyler Sisters t shirt she ordered online for this show. But the air was so terrible that I was worried one or both of us, me and my friend who went to the show, was going to have a panic attack, and it almost happened. 

It was a good thing I ate a pretty good lunch at the Red Bowl Vietnamese Asian Fusion restaurant across the street, but then again, the meal pretty much went right through me because by the end of Act II, I was hungry again and it was only after 4 in the afternoon. 

I was about to take a picture of me and my sweetie in our seats at the Hippodrome, but there were staff people holding up signs that said, "Please no cell phones." So all I did was take out my phone to unlock it and then turn it off. 

And the voice of Mad King George III boomed over our heads saying, "Welcome to Hamilton! Please turn off all electronic gadgets, and any audio, video, or photography recordings in the theatre are prohibited. Thank you. Enjoy MY show!!!!" 

Everyone was laughing at his ridiculousness. We all knew that it was his stupid villainous antics. 

And the one thing my boyfriend Alexander noticed in there was the paintings above the theatre stage overhead- He said that there were three muses in that painting, three of the nine muses that represented the theatre and the arts in mythology. This was actually all new to me and an eye opener as well. 

My favorite line in Hamilton has always been, "I'm past patiently waiting, passionately smashing every expectation... for the first time, I'm thinking passed tomorrow..." And the actor in the show delivered his lines with such gusto and pride, being one of the best Alexander Hamiltons I've seen in my life since Lin-Manuel Miranda's original cast performance before he finished the show and left for other projects. This was also probably my boyfriend Alexander's favorite performance since the Disney + version. 

Aaron Burr gave me chills on "Wait For It" and "The Room Where it Happened", of course. A very worthy and scary adversary to the hero of the story. I sort of wondered why George Washington was stalling in his lines, but I pushed it away because his showstopper "One Last Time" was absolutely stunning and heartbreaking at the same time. Angelica was hilarious in the beginning when Aaron Burr tried to flirt with her, but that quickly faded on "Satisfied", for she became a powerhouse of light and electricity in the storm. Eliza even started to be a little bit silly on "Helpless", starting to be just as silly as Hamilton's funny dance when he lands her father's blessing... But by Act II, her performance of "Burn" almost drove me to tears. She was probably the best Eliza I have ever seen in my life. (But I adore Philippa Soo nevertheless.) The original actor playing Hercules Mulligan and James Madison wasn't there for the stage performance, but his understudy or swing was absolutely perfect for the role, delivering his lines as Hercules brilliantly in both "Aaron Burr, Sir" and "Yorktown". 

But possibly the most breathtaking moments were when someone dropped lights and a chandelier over the stage for my favorite part of Act I, also my favorite song, the end of "A Winter's Ball" and going right into "Helpless". And when getting to "Satisfied", the lights suddenly went away and everything was moving in reverse, the cast and crew moving backwards when you heard Angelica say, "Rewind." It was the most powerful moment in the first half of the show before intermission. But in Act II, the scene with "Hurricane", was actually, surprise to me, my mother's favorite scene when she watched it on Disney +. At the same time I was watching it on the stage, I got a bigger picture of how Hamilton was in the eye of the storm and you could see the lighting depicting the winds and lightning, with the cast and ensemble holding up furniture and people and props like you were actually watching a real storm. The captivating intense scene of how Lin-Manuel Miranda was able to put a live thunderstorm-tropical vortex on a stage, it was as if you were actually seeing the real tornado picking up Dorothy's house and seeing the house land on the wicked witch. 

In the words of the cast members in "The Reynolds Pamphlet": DAMN. 

But here's what sold me. This was the real rub. I was blinking back tears in the end of "The World Was Wide Enough" and actually choked on Baltimore's Alexander Hamilton's words in his spoken monologue, in which he executed beautifully, holding up his weapon and saying to Aaron Burr: "If I throw away my shot, is THIS how you remember me???!!!" 

That moment right there was the moment where I learned the true meaning of ending violence. This show was about ending gun violence and promoting the end to all of these fights, terrible wars, and school shootings, all at once. I hung on every word of that monologue where there was no music, no beat, no melody, and no rapping- it really was a soliloquy as I thought. And 100 times better than Rodgers and Hammerstein's Carousel. 

And I thought of my friend Robbie Greenberger, who passed away from complications following treatments for leukemia. 

And I thought of my dad. Two years since I lost my daddy to cancer this December 31. 

No musical EVER makes you cry twice, until now. It was hard to take near the end, but totally worth it. 

That's why one of my new favorite t shirts says on the front: "Past Patiently Waiting. Black Lives Matter." complete with the Hamilton logo. I now have a button with Hamilton and Eliza on it, along with a Playbill, and a golden quill pen that writes in black ink. The Playbill has a lovely new home in my bookshelf, all cozy and tucked in my copy of G'morning, G'night that I also brought with me to the show to celebrate four years since Miranda published that book. 

The staff at the Hippodrome were terrific as well in caring for all of us, especially for my friend who wasn't the best with crowds, neither was I. I gave her the biggest hug of my life, which turned into a group hug with my boyfriend as well, she needed it. 

And I got to meet one of the fans who suckered me into falling in love with the musical as well. Pretty much everyone has been so kind and nice to everyone, and we loved every second of it. Every moment. Even at intermission as I was waiting to use the bathroom, I was even shocked to find a woman who had seen the show in New York with the original cast, and she complimented me on my dress, plus the woman behind me, going, "Did you make all of that yourself?" 

"I designed it!" I said. "It's all crochet, based on Act II of Eliza's costumes." 

The women surrounding me in line for the bathroom were all in shock, saying, "That is impressive! You look amazing!" :) 

It was horrible that I didn't have that much access to my phone after the show or even during intermission so that I could take more photos, but I was finally able to breathe when I came home that night to find my mom finishing up watching the streaming version of the show on TV. And that's when my mom told me her favorite part of the show, which was "Hurricane". She said that it is the one thing in musicals that has never been done before, where everything is moving in a complete slo-mo of a vortex, bringing a hurricane to the stage, which is mesmerizing. 

For me, it was a literal record needle scratch- where George Washington is singing while on a moving part of the stage, going from stage right to stage left... just like the needle of a record player... 

And we were lost in the show again. 

Thank you, Lin-Manuel Miranda, the newest King of Broadway, for getting me to fall in love with musicals all over again. Long may you reign. 

As for King George, the villain, he truly was the comic relief in all this, only the actor who played him on the Baltimore stage was even more ridiculous and laughable. 

And the songs "Alexander Hamilton" and Yorktown"? The songs I didn't like? I didn't mind it one bit anymore. 

I love this show. There I said it. This is one of the reasons I love being a writer to write about triumphs. 

Worth every second. 

And now we've come to the conclusion of Eliza's Story: Long Live the King of Broadway. Sorry, this is it, guys, it's the end of the series, I've actually done it. 

Now all I have to do next year is get my butt in gear and get to New York in 2023. 

I love y'all. Na night. Oiche mhaith. 

-The Lady in the Blue Box 

THE END. (Finally!) 

Playlist Selection to end this long dissertation- 

A little bit of a jazz version of one of my favorite Pharrell songs, Gunhild Carling is an incredible virtuoso of music, playing all kinds of instruments, even playing three trumpets all at the same time... This woman blows my mind! Here is my new favorite viral video sensation, Postmodern Jazz, led by Scott Bradlee. 

Plus, the newest song from Meghan Trainor that I was listening to yesterday on the drive to Hamilton at the Hippodrome, another great 50s throwback that I just love to death- 

Pink and White Nightmare: Save Gallifrey Essay #1

Or... The tale of why do overs for proms should be doable. (Because I went to Prom with a Bully) 

Copyright 2022 Lady in the Blue Box Publishing, by Rachel Beth Ahrens, All Rights Reserved. Don't plagiarize, just don't. Believe me, you don't want to. Opinions are my own. 

It was May 13, 2006, Saturday night.... And everybody was having such a great time at the senior prom, especially considering nobody was the prom king or prom queen. But I went to a very cliquey school anyway, even the theatre kids were very popular, even to the teachers. 

Everybody at the prom had a fantastic time... except me. 

I can't tell you how many people either wore pink or white dresses, or even wanted to dress as Disney Princesses that night for the prom. The theme was "Remember Me This Way", based on a song by Jordan Hill in which the lyrics said, "Make a wish" somewhere in the song. Basically, it was fairytale themed for Prom 2006 at Perry Hall High School, and I can still remember being so skinny I was able to fit a size 6 prom dress that was pristine white with beautiful silver glitter flowers, and a white shawl that I crocheted by hand for two whole months to finish before that night. If I had known better about the theme of the prom, I would have gone as Princess Ariel in a fluffy frilly pink or blue gown, but I advised myself against it, I don't know why. Now that my fashion sense has switched, I don't mind the ruffles and the color pink and of course, lots and lots of rainbows. 

I almost remember every moment that went on at the prom, and I don't regret some of it. Two girls wearing matching black and pink prom dresses held hands and kissed in a beautiful moment as I was leaving the bathroom, and I finally knew the meaning of love is love. My friend Danielle wore a blue and silver gown worthy of Cinderella's ballgown that she wore with her date. There was at least one girl who wore the exact same dress at the prom as me, but we left the bathroom on good terms, and there were smiles all around. I got to ride in a limousine for the first time and we waited to go into the main ballroom on the second floor at the glittering Marriott Waterfront Hotel on the Inner Harbor in a very classy upscale neighborhood of Baltimore City. Dinner was tortellini with chicken fingers, I don't know why it was served that way, but it was delicious, and the sparkling punch didn't taste sweet, it tasted bitter and wrong. There was a decadent dessert table in the back, but I didn't bother looking at it or eating some of it because I was running on a clock to leave before midnight so we could all make it to the after prom party at the bowling alley in Perry Hall on Ebenezer Road, my favorite place to go cosmic bowling. 

The only thing I appreciated about the prom was the music, kind of, from Rihanna's "SOS" to Kelly Clarkson's "Walk Away" and singing it at the top of my lungs. But I hated it when they played "Hips Don't Lie" by Shakira, but I started to appreciate Shakira as a person and as a singer in my 20s and 30s. But that was about it. 

What I didn't tell anyone until my 30s was the humiliation that followed suit, as well as the time leading up to prom. I asked so many guys if they could be my date, no one wanted me. I kept getting rejected day in and day out. Worst of all was in the days leading up to the Snow Dance in February, which was unfortunate. I was running for Snow Queen, and I wanted my friend Josh to put fliers up that would say "Vote for Rachel for Snow Queen", and unfortunately, when Josh was in the middle of putting up fliers, some nasty bullies went up to him and started dissing me in front of him, calling me names like stupid bitch and crazy 'Rolling Rachel', and they wouldn't stop telling him that I ruined their lives by being a whistleblower in getting them in trouble for telling the principal on them for harassment. They called me much worse names than crazy bitch, though. I was one of the most bullied and most hated girls in school. And for poor Josh to go through that, when he told me all that he went through to put up my fliers, I felt sorry for him. 

I hoped and prayed to God that there would be no voting for a Prom King and Queen after what happened at Homecoming. It was almost predictable who would have won anyway. Homecoming Queen was our Vice President of the student body, Christina Teng, and she was probably the nicest girl in school. I knew that our valedictorian Jon Graf was going to be the Homecoming King as well, kind of obvious, and he wanted to be a teacher when he went off to college, but he came up with quite possibly the most predictable high school graduation speech I heard as a new graduate. But we're getting off topic here. 

It was a good thing that there was no consideration for voting for prom royalty until the mid 2010s, hooray for me. But that wasn't the worst of it at all. When I went to the rendezvous point at Josh's house for the prom limo arrival, I had no idea that my riding partner was going to be Ryan, a horrible bully from freshman year Spanish class and Spanish Club who kicked my book bag, put kick me signs on my back, and threw crumpled bits of paper at my head to mock me because I was a weak pushover victim of all the bullies at that school. He was even my secret Santa at Spanish Club's Christmas party sophomore year of high school, and the only thing I got from him were lame Christmas ornaments for my tree. I wished that my secret Santa that year was my crush, Jack, who became my first boyfriend almost overnight, but he dumped me almost a year later my junior year. He was kind of a hypocrite anyway, I later found out at our ten year reunion, that I was kind of glad he dumped me before the prom. 

However, that senior year Jack was considering me to go to the prom with him, but I kept telling him how my dream was to wear a corsage and ride in a limo to the prom, and he didn't want to, he wanted to ride in a rental sedan. I had been riding in rental cars for a long time, since my father bought a black Jeep Cherokee that was as old as me, a 1988 "stealth Jeep" we called it. It died sometime as I was off to college anyway. I wanted to ride in style. He stood by his decision, so we decided to part as mutual friends and just go to prom without each other. 

So when I went to see Josh at his house and met up with Ryan, the only thing my evil sadistic blind date said was, "Sorry I didn't get you a corsage, Rachel." I felt like he was teasing and messing with me, because he really didn't have a date either, and I could see why. I hated him. I gave him a look that could kill when those words escaped his mouth and I said, "How can you say that? I despise you." 

And I pulled Josh aside and said, "Josh, what is going on? You said you were bringing someone to ride in the limo with us-- why did you have to bring someone who bullied and harassed me freshman year in class?" 

Josh simply said, "I'm so sorry, Rachel, I didn't know he bullied you. Maybe he's changed since then. I'm sorry about this, but he was the only one who'd come with us to keep the cost of the limo down. If you don't want me to invite him, do you want to pay more money to go stag?" 

I was sunk. I simply said, "Then never mind, I'm sorry." 

But here's what should have happened: I should have said, "Josh, I refuse to pay more money than go with a bully as my date for him to make me feel like hell. But I don't want to go stag because my parents are practically bankrupt, you have no idea how much money my mom had to take out of her paycheck to help me pay for this. So that said, here is my prom ticket, give it to anybody you want, I'm going the hell home. Mom, dad, I'm sorry, but I can't go to prom at all if my prom date is Ryan the Bully from freshman Spanish class. Take me home!" 

I should have never gone to prom that night. Ever. 

But I kept lying to myself that the prom was going to be the most fun thing ever. But I could have never foretold what happened next when I arrived in my knockout white and silver gown, crochet shawl, matching bag and shoes, and my hair and makeup done by professionals at an expensive hole in the wall hair salon- all advised by my beautiful and amazing mom. My mom did a super job at making me look like Debra Messing in the movie The Wedding Date, the scene where she's dressed in green for her sister's wedding, Debra being the maid of honor, and the bride played by the talented Amy Adams. I even had my nails done with a French manicure, my first one ever. I was drop dead flawless that night, and my confident self beauty was ruined in hours. 

Arriving at the hotel, I gave the staff my prom ticket with a smile, after I rode the limo in the seat closest to the driver, since I was weird and I loved riding the limo backwards. (But I also wanted to keep Ryan far, far away from me.) I can't tell you how many pink and white prom dresses I saw among all the people wearing tuxes and gowns. The prettiest girl at the prom to me, however, was definitely Christina Teng, decked out in a white and red rose gown with a tiara in her hair. She definitely fit the bill for belle of the ball and the possible prom queen of the night, so to speak. 

As for me, I was dubbed, "Sexiest girl in the school!" by a whole group of teenage boys dancing and grinding up against me as they shouted. Completely forgetting the senior superlative I got in the school yearbook, "Most Dramatic", a group of taller guys jumped in on me as I was dancing with the crowd, I think there was one kid named Bobby Anderson from my freshman year history class who loved bullying me by calling me by my initials- Rea with a long E, even during reciting the Pledge of Allegiance. He jumped in on me once and started gyrating on top of me while I was dancing to Kelly Clarkson's "Walk Away", (one of the biggest hits on the radio at the time), and as soon as I trailed off, I didn't see it coming, but a whole bunch of boys started gyrating and grinding on top of me as I tried to find my way out of the suffocating vacuum of sweat and fear. 

And those boys screamed as they grinded on me: "RACHEL IS THE SEXIEST SLUTTIEST GIRL IN THE SCHOOL!" 

Finally, I found an opening in the crowd of immature assholes, in the manner of Cruize in Cars 3, where Lightning McQueen is her new crew chief telling her, "Sneak through the window." I left the dance floor laughing and trying to catch my breath in that time, feeling the cold relief of air rushing back to me. I should have gone to the dessert table right then. 

Even that wasn't the worst of it. I thought it would be a good moment to try making amends with Meryem Ahmadian from the school spring musical Bye Bye Birdie, after I humiliated her by saying something stupid that I shouldn't have at rehearsal and getting in trouble with our director Mr. McShea and my guidance counselor Mr. Seward. Not a good idea at all, because when I tried to talk to her and ask her nicely to bury the hatchet and "let's be friends now and enjoy the prom"- before I could even get those words out- 

Meryem cursed me out by screaming at me, "You're a BITCH, Rachel! DON'T F--- UP MY PROM! GET LOST!" 

And instead, I sat there in misery. The entire night, I got no slow dance, no reconciliation with Meryem, and no date on the ride home from the prom. I didn't even go to get a professional photo done at the prom, with a cute backdrop of a fantasy castle courtesy of Life Touch Prestige photography. 

And when my first ever cell phone rang, it was Josh, and he was telling me to meet them out front for the limo ride home. I wanted to ride in the back of the limo this time, but unfortunately, Josh wanted to keep things the same in assigned seats. 

That's where it hit me on the drive home. As I watched my so called fake friends make out with their dates and I watched Josh and his date communicate with Ryan the bully from freshman year, I knew exactly what it was like to be alone my entire life. I could see why prom was not that great as I had hoped. Maybe my mom was right in that regard, that my accidental blind date was going to treat me like garbage and I'd be humiliated by the entire school at the prom like I was Perry Hall High School's biggest laughing stock. 

Even though I was in the top ten girls running for Homecoming Queen my senior year- I was the most hated girl in school. It was true- everyone in high school Hated ME. That's why I should have never gone to my prom and I should have just stayed home, watching Pushing Daisies and Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip with my dad, telling him how much I loved him, because I knew sometime down the road, I was going to lose my dad to cancer before he would ever be 60 years old. 

TV show Ghosts, courtesy of CBS and Paramount +, 2022. 

Fast forward about 17 years, I think, and it's getting closer to Halloween, and there was the debut of Ghosts season 2 on CBS and Paramount + not too long ago. Alexander and I were getting caught up on season 1 where the "Attic Girl" who happened to be murdered on her prom night and now haunts the attic in her 80s prom dress, suggests that she needs a ghost prom with everyone else in the house. I felt for poor Sam, the woman who sees ghosts, because when she was a teenager, she was humiliated on prom night like I was for being obsessed with her French class. So, when the Attic Ghost plays a prank on her and makes her life miserable, I can't help but want to burst into tears. 

Long story short, the best part is saved for last, where all the ghosts finally allow Sam and her husband Jay to come to their ghost prom with them, and Sam finally gets to be the belle of the ball at last, with Jay as her date. It's finally the prom do over anyone could ask for. 

And as I'm watching this gorgeous scene unfold, Alexander pulled me aside and asked me, "So, Rachel, if we could do prom over again and you wanted me to go with you, would you want that?" 

I respond in kind like Sam was telling Jay how she "needed a minute" to get all dolled up like this, wearing a gorgeous pink dress and a corsage on her wrist, her hair and makeup done, and she was ready for the ghost prom. :) 

Basically, I said, overtop of listening to "Kiss Me" by Sixpence None the Richer, "Actually, if that's doable, I might say yes... Definitely, I'd say yes to that. That'd be really nice." 

So, I went to do a little online digging on Google, and I found an article in the New York Times, about how some adults never got to do the prom or never got their prom the way they wanted, so they decided to have a prom in their adulthood. One couple got to do their prom over again as husband and wife, but added alcohol to the mix, wearing a rented tux and a party dress, and they had to be safe going home after their hotel stay because they had children at home staying with a babysitter. 

And with that, I tweeted: Innocently reading New York Times article about adults having to redo their prom nights to relive high school proms. I kind of want to do this. I was bullied and sexually harassed at the prom- even my sort-of "date" bullied me freshman year. I'd love to do it again. 

And I didn't have enough room to add to that tweet because of the 280 limit, but I wanted to add- I'd love to do it again, but this time, differently from start to finish. I wish I had a real date to prom who actually liked me and treated me like a lady. 

And it suddenly reminded me: in 2020, prom in all 50 states of America was canceled because of the deadly virus COVID19. Nobody ever got to go to the prom because the entire country was in quarantine. In fact, the entire world for that matter. And it came at the worst possible time for me and my family as well, since my dad was sick with cancer and a lot of people were falling through the cracks in their education and in health. As I've said before in other posts, 2019 lasted three or four years, that 2020, 2021, even 2022 haven't started yet and things are never going to get better. Not even after the disgusting overturning of Roe vs. Wade that I find offensive as hell because women need healthcare more than ever and doctors are responsible for saving lives, and saving somebody's life is NOT a crime. 

Too many youngsters graduating from high school in 2020 never got their prom, never got a graduation ceremony either, didn't get to go to senior week, they got absolutely nothing. They didn't even get a prom in their high school cafeteria. The prom had to be held at HOME, and masks had to be worn if you were to go outside. Life was miserable. 

Which is why even before I met the love of my life, Alexander, I wanted to suggest that maybe in 2021 after the kids go to college or go into the military- Why don't we have a prom for college kids? Or why don't we have a special gala party for people who didn't have a prom and hold it for people who missed out because of the terrible times of Corona Virus? 

I know that if I was 17 years old again, I wish that was me. I wish my prom was canceled in 2006, so that I didn't get the chance to go to prom with people who hardly knew me and some idiot who bullied me all four years of high school, just to be humiliated by more morons, and going home all alone at 4 a.m. with a stupid laundry bag from a door prize at the after prom party. 

I really should have told Josh I couldn't go to prom and he should have asked someone else to go with Ryan. I should have just stayed home wearing my gorgeous white prom dress, with my hair and makeup done, and cried all night long because I got all dressed up for nothing. 

Well, at least I still have my crocheted shawl. I know it was an accident that my mom threw my prom dress in with the Goodwill, and I forgave her for that. 

Besides, I want a blue dress for my wedding day, someday. And I'm wearing my crocheted prom shawl as my "something old", and my wedding theme is going to be "The Wonderful World of Don Bluth and Disney". Basically, Anastasia, Thumbelina, and Little Mermaid all rolled into one. 

I want my gown to be blue, my dad's favorite color, and resemble that of the actual fairy princess Thumbelina in her wedding dress to Prince Cornelius at the end of the movie inspired by Hans Christian Anderson. "Let Me Be Your Wings" and all that. 

Now that's fairytale romantic. 

Playlist Selection- my new favorite record of the 2020s by one of my favorite bands I listened to towards the end of high school- Brendon Urie and his band Panic! At The Disco became famous sometime around my prom night and my high school graduation day. The summer of 2006 was the first time I heard "I Write Sins Not Tragedies" on the radio, and I'll never forget my dad's reaction, that he actually loved it for the strings and melody. 

But even though I don't have my dad anymore, the entire album of Viva Las Vengeance would have been my dad's favorite album of 2022 if he had lived to see it. It screams the best glam rock album since Freddie Mercury was a part of Queen. The guitar sounds a lot like Brian May, but it's not (gasp!), and dad would have loved every 1970s and 80s rock reference in the entire record. 

Viva Las Vengeance is the best Brendon Urie masterpiece ever. My dad would be very proud if he was here. Here's "God Killed Rock and Roll". 

 

What's the Matter with Petite-Plus Sizes... A Rachel's Rant post

Instead of posting this on my Patreon account, I thought I'd post this here as a little Blogger post, merged with a theory that will go on to be my small business mission statement, for the sake of women everywhere who are shorter than 5 feet 6 inches tall and are struggling with weight issues, particularly with clothes and Halloween costumes. Particularly, case in point- gowns, dresses, and cosplays. 

And I mean the kind you buy in a store, never online. 

Here is exhibit me: This year for Halloween, I am absolutely stumped on what to wear for a perfect Halloween costume for any potential October plans in the late fall. In fact, I think I've always had this ongoing issue with finding something that fits properly. This goes for all clothes as well. 

Every time I went to Marshall's, Burlington, T.J. Maxx, Hot Topic, even my favorite store of all time H&M, I had the biggest issue of finding dresses and jeans that actually fit my curvy body. The jeans would either be too long that I'd trip on the seams of the foot cuffs of the pants, or they'd be too tight that I couldn't close the zipper. 

Whenever I head into a store, it's always the same issue- I can never find the right size that fits my waist or fits the length of my leg. Sometimes even petite clothing won't fit my legs because they might be a little too long- I'm exactly 60 inches in height and no taller. I stopped growing taller at 16, if you can believe that. I had no growth spurt in puberty at all and I reached 5 foot nothing inches on the nose. I hate being short because I'm only 7 inches away from being a model, even if I became a plus size model. But even then, I don't want the fame unless I become a writer. Being on the New York Times Bestseller List is good enough for me. 

I pored and pored over the internet to look for costumes in my size, and I eventually went to the Spirit Halloween store in Bel Air at the Harford Mall not too far from here, and I was shocked and saddened by how many plus sized dresses and costumes they had for ladies in the sizes 12-20 region. When I went to DORS, I was 140 pounds and a size 12 petite in 2016. Now that it's 2022, I've gained about 40 pounds for no reason at all, I'm now 180 pounds and my jeans that I wear now, St. John's Bay, are a size 16 short. And my jeans only graze the back of my heels and are just slightly tight around my belly button. 

This is getting ridiculous. Shouldn't there be more costumes and dresses for women who want to look glorious as well as pretty in pink on Halloween? Or conventions? Or their wedding day? 

I think I'm getting ahead of myself. But still, women are even finding it harder and harder to find a wedding dress that fits them because there is no such thing as petite-plus size wedding dresses too. It's almost impossible unless you go to Amazon or Etsy online. And don't you hate shopping online for dresses that don't fit online? 

This article that I found online whilst I was Googling away set my mind at ease, at least a little. Women in not only the United States, but in Canada as well, are having it harder and harder to find a suitable outfit for everyday wear, even for work or school, especially if you're under 5'3": https://www.petitepoire.ca/being-petite/advocacy/yes-you-can-be-petite-and-plus-sized.html 

I'll confess that I'm absolutely terrible at advocacy because it's been almost 15 years without going to a leadership retreat and there is definitely something I'm missing. For the life of me, I know I'm in desperate need of a life coach. 

But this sounds like something's been building up all along. I read this article and said, "Oh my god, how many women in America are struggling with too many curves and too short? There are lots of women whom have the same issue as me? Unbelievable." 

It was a call to arms. I wasn't going to take it lying down anymore. Plus size short women needed some help to find better designs that were breathable and functional for everyday wear. The same goes for Halloween costumes too. I'm sure that women my height and my weight had problems looking for store bought costumes that actually worked for Halloween, or for going to a convention at that. I've seen a handful of people advertise costumes they make or sell on Instagram, and only one or two actually make cosplays that are made for plus size. There might be a market for these as I go along. 

That said, I'm still taking commissions, but from this moment on, my mission is clear: Find a way to give back to people like me whom are struggling to find costumes and clothes that don't necessarily require weight loss to wear beautiful and pretty things. I may be a pessimist, but I also think that the Body Mass Index, BMI, that they teach you in health class and medical practices is completely FLAWED. The BMI is wrong because I try to eat healthy and exercise the best I can, and I know my limits on certain foods- I don't even eat fast food anymore. I'm still boycotting McDonald's and Burger King with a passion, and I never eat at Chick Fil A for even more reasons than diet, for the CEO of Chick Fil A is against LGBTQ and nonbinary human rights. I love waffle fries, but I can get them cheaper at a grocery store than eat somewhere where all their money goes to funding Donald Trump's disgusting idea of taking away women's health rights and taking away transgender and nonbinary rights to people who need it. Trans is beautiful and Love is Love, that's what I believe. I've always said everyone deserves love and I mean that.

You deserve to look beautiful and you deserve a nice costume on Halloween and nobody should judge you for how you look on Halloween or at a convention. Cosplay is meant to be FUN. Cosplay is for FUN. Don't hate yourself, no matter what pronouns you use, for what costume doesn't fit you. You are beautiful the way you are and I see you as a lovely person. Cosplayers come in all different shapes and sizes and you should be comfortable as you are in your skin. That includes us short people with actual curves. I've always had an hourglass figure since I was in high school and college, but I've always had a weird looking belly since I joined DORS and WTC in 2015-2016 to find a real paying job, and I feel like society has been growing down.

If you've ever seen my all time favorite Anne Hathaway movie, The Devil Wears Prada, you will see the dark side of the fashion industry and how flawed it actually is. In real life, the actress Anne Hathaway is very tall and a vegetarian, but her character, Andie Sachs, says she's a size 6, which Nigel, played by the incredible actor Stanley Tucci from Captain America: First Avenger, says to Andie that the size 6 is basically a plus size at this time in the present day. He has pointed out that weight loss is the key to making it in the fashion world today, which is a huge misconception and myth about finding a happy medium with finding clothes that fit. In Runway Magazine, the magazine run by glamazon editor Miranda Priestly (Meryl Streep), all you see are tall and skinny models wearing clothes that are very fashionable and in a dreamy world of perfect high end expensive designers from Calvin Klein to Lagerfeld to Versace and Chanel. Huge poppy glittering romcoms liven things up about the fashion world being absolutely beautiful and perfect, such as Head Over Heels and Confessions of a Shopaholic, but the darkest side of fashion is shown in Devil Wears Prada, that not only is the workforce industry hell on heels, but in the fashion industry, it really isn't pretty for it requires stomping on a lot of people's feelings and making enemies out of friends in order to get that promotion and get to Paris, France for Fashion Week in the fall.

In context, the movie is awesome with a killer soundtrack and the costume changes on Anne Hathaway are just amazing (my favorite is the little white coat and hat outfit they put on her in the montage on top of the vintage song "Vogue" by Madonna), but even then, those clothes would probably feel tight on me and also too tall for people like me since the fashion industry doesn't necessarily cater to women under 5'4". Believe it or not, there are real celebrities under 5'4" whom have possibly tailor made clothing when they walk down the red carpet: Drew Barrymore, Jennifer Aniston, Melissa McCarthy, Jenna Coleman from Doctor Who and Victoria, Scarlett Johansson, Zoe Kravitz, America Ferrera, Avril Lavigne, the list goes on! Oh yeah, and I almost forgot- Ariana Grande is my height too- 5'0" on the nose.

But has any of these fine celebrities created a line of clothing for petite plus size? The answer: none of them. But I know someone definitely made a glittering fluffy ballgown for Ariana Grande for the Grammy Awards, making her look like a stunning princess of pop music. Though I don't listen to her music, I really do appreciate her taste in fashion and philanthropy.

The bottom line is, I think I came up with a new mission statement for my Patreon and for designing costumes for women like me with finding the right clothes from sizes 12p-28p. Petite plus size is definitely a thing, and it's definitely a marketable cause for women who want to find costumes in their size instead of buying a costume that will drag on the floor and get messy, dirty, or get snags on their hem line and need repairs. I want to buy a royal empress costume on Ebay, or even buy that purple celestial robe on Spirit Halloween in plus size, but the problem is, what if they are too long in the skirt area? That is always a major issue where I'd have to pick up the billowing skirt and sacrifice my sanity for fashion.

Ladies, if you're reading this, you know exactly what I mean by this. You don't want to sacrifice this kind of sanity for the sake of fashion and looking and feeling good, right? You want to feel comfortable instead of constantly getting mad at the costume because you keep tripping on it.

Here's my Patreon for more info: patreon.com/arachelbethahrenscreation

Don't forget! There will be a follow up to Long Live the King of Broadway coming soon in October! Alexander and I have decided to go to Baltimore on October 16 for a Sunday matinee of Hamilton at the Hippodrome Theatre in Charm City. Look for me there, and I will be reporting live as it happens, in the room where it happens!

Love y'all! Everyone deserves love, no matter what size you are. Even you. Especially you there, reading this article. I love you.

With love, The Lady in the Blue Box

Playlist selection-