Or... The tale of why do overs for proms should be doable. (Because I went to Prom with a Bully)
Copyright 2022 Lady in the Blue Box Publishing, by Rachel Beth Ahrens, All Rights Reserved. Don't plagiarize, just don't. Believe me, you don't want to. Opinions are my own.
It was May 13, 2006, Saturday night.... And everybody was having such a great time at the senior prom, especially considering nobody was the prom king or prom queen. But I went to a very cliquey school anyway, even the theatre kids were very popular, even to the teachers.
Everybody at the prom had a fantastic time... except me.
I can't tell you how many people either wore pink or white dresses, or even wanted to dress as Disney Princesses that night for the prom. The theme was "Remember Me This Way", based on a song by Jordan Hill in which the lyrics said, "Make a wish" somewhere in the song. Basically, it was fairytale themed for Prom 2006 at Perry Hall High School, and I can still remember being so skinny I was able to fit a size 6 prom dress that was pristine white with beautiful silver glitter flowers, and a white shawl that I crocheted by hand for two whole months to finish before that night. If I had known better about the theme of the prom, I would have gone as Princess Ariel in a fluffy frilly pink or blue gown, but I advised myself against it, I don't know why. Now that my fashion sense has switched, I don't mind the ruffles and the color pink and of course, lots and lots of rainbows.
I almost remember every moment that went on at the prom, and I don't regret some of it. Two girls wearing matching black and pink prom dresses held hands and kissed in a beautiful moment as I was leaving the bathroom, and I finally knew the meaning of love is love. My friend Danielle wore a blue and silver gown worthy of Cinderella's ballgown that she wore with her date. There was at least one girl who wore the exact same dress at the prom as me, but we left the bathroom on good terms, and there were smiles all around. I got to ride in a limousine for the first time and we waited to go into the main ballroom on the second floor at the glittering Marriott Waterfront Hotel on the Inner Harbor in a very classy upscale neighborhood of Baltimore City. Dinner was tortellini with chicken fingers, I don't know why it was served that way, but it was delicious, and the sparkling punch didn't taste sweet, it tasted bitter and wrong. There was a decadent dessert table in the back, but I didn't bother looking at it or eating some of it because I was running on a clock to leave before midnight so we could all make it to the after prom party at the bowling alley in Perry Hall on Ebenezer Road, my favorite place to go cosmic bowling.
The only thing I appreciated about the prom was the music, kind of, from Rihanna's "SOS" to Kelly Clarkson's "Walk Away" and singing it at the top of my lungs. But I hated it when they played "Hips Don't Lie" by Shakira, but I started to appreciate Shakira as a person and as a singer in my 20s and 30s. But that was about it.
What I didn't tell anyone until my 30s was the humiliation that followed suit, as well as the time leading up to prom. I asked so many guys if they could be my date, no one wanted me. I kept getting rejected day in and day out. Worst of all was in the days leading up to the Snow Dance in February, which was unfortunate. I was running for Snow Queen, and I wanted my friend Josh to put fliers up that would say "Vote for Rachel for Snow Queen", and unfortunately, when Josh was in the middle of putting up fliers, some nasty bullies went up to him and started dissing me in front of him, calling me names like stupid bitch and crazy 'Rolling Rachel', and they wouldn't stop telling him that I ruined their lives by being a whistleblower in getting them in trouble for telling the principal on them for harassment. They called me much worse names than crazy bitch, though. I was one of the most bullied and most hated girls in school. And for poor Josh to go through that, when he told me all that he went through to put up my fliers, I felt sorry for him.
I hoped and prayed to God that there would be no voting for a Prom King and Queen after what happened at Homecoming. It was almost predictable who would have won anyway. Homecoming Queen was our Vice President of the student body, Christina Teng, and she was probably the nicest girl in school. I knew that our valedictorian Jon Graf was going to be the Homecoming King as well, kind of obvious, and he wanted to be a teacher when he went off to college, but he came up with quite possibly the most predictable high school graduation speech I heard as a new graduate. But we're getting off topic here.
It was a good thing that there was no consideration for voting for prom royalty until the mid 2010s, hooray for me. But that wasn't the worst of it at all. When I went to the rendezvous point at Josh's house for the prom limo arrival, I had no idea that my riding partner was going to be Ryan, a horrible bully from freshman year Spanish class and Spanish Club who kicked my book bag, put kick me signs on my back, and threw crumpled bits of paper at my head to mock me because I was a weak pushover victim of all the bullies at that school. He was even my secret Santa at Spanish Club's Christmas party sophomore year of high school, and the only thing I got from him were lame Christmas ornaments for my tree. I wished that my secret Santa that year was my crush, Jack, who became my first boyfriend almost overnight, but he dumped me almost a year later my junior year. He was kind of a hypocrite anyway, I later found out at our ten year reunion, that I was kind of glad he dumped me before the prom.
However, that senior year Jack was considering me to go to the prom with him, but I kept telling him how my dream was to wear a corsage and ride in a limo to the prom, and he didn't want to, he wanted to ride in a rental sedan. I had been riding in rental cars for a long time, since my father bought a black Jeep Cherokee that was as old as me, a 1988 "stealth Jeep" we called it. It died sometime as I was off to college anyway. I wanted to ride in style. He stood by his decision, so we decided to part as mutual friends and just go to prom without each other.
So when I went to see Josh at his house and met up with Ryan, the only thing my evil sadistic blind date said was, "Sorry I didn't get you a corsage, Rachel." I felt like he was teasing and messing with me, because he really didn't have a date either, and I could see why. I hated him. I gave him a look that could kill when those words escaped his mouth and I said, "How can you say that? I despise you."
And I pulled Josh aside and said, "Josh, what is going on? You said you were bringing someone to ride in the limo with us-- why did you have to bring someone who bullied and harassed me freshman year in class?"
Josh simply said, "I'm so sorry, Rachel, I didn't know he bullied you. Maybe he's changed since then. I'm sorry about this, but he was the only one who'd come with us to keep the cost of the limo down. If you don't want me to invite him, do you want to pay more money to go stag?"
I was sunk. I simply said, "Then never mind, I'm sorry."
But here's what should have happened: I should have said, "Josh, I refuse to pay more money than go with a bully as my date for him to make me feel like hell. But I don't want to go stag because my parents are practically bankrupt, you have no idea how much money my mom had to take out of her paycheck to help me pay for this. So that said, here is my prom ticket, give it to anybody you want, I'm going the hell home. Mom, dad, I'm sorry, but I can't go to prom at all if my prom date is Ryan the Bully from freshman Spanish class. Take me home!"
I should have never gone to prom that night. Ever.
But I kept lying to myself that the prom was going to be the most fun thing ever. But I could have never foretold what happened next when I arrived in my knockout white and silver gown, crochet shawl, matching bag and shoes, and my hair and makeup done by professionals at an expensive hole in the wall hair salon- all advised by my beautiful and amazing mom. My mom did a super job at making me look like Debra Messing in the movie The Wedding Date, the scene where she's dressed in green for her sister's wedding, Debra being the maid of honor, and the bride played by the talented Amy Adams. I even had my nails done with a French manicure, my first one ever. I was drop dead flawless that night, and my confident self beauty was ruined in hours.
Arriving at the hotel, I gave the staff my prom ticket with a smile, after I rode the limo in the seat closest to the driver, since I was weird and I loved riding the limo backwards. (But I also wanted to keep Ryan far, far away from me.) I can't tell you how many pink and white prom dresses I saw among all the people wearing tuxes and gowns. The prettiest girl at the prom to me, however, was definitely Christina Teng, decked out in a white and red rose gown with a tiara in her hair. She definitely fit the bill for belle of the ball and the possible prom queen of the night, so to speak.
As for me, I was dubbed, "Sexiest girl in the school!" by a whole group of teenage boys dancing and grinding up against me as they shouted. Completely forgetting the senior superlative I got in the school yearbook, "Most Dramatic", a group of taller guys jumped in on me as I was dancing with the crowd, I think there was one kid named Bobby Anderson from my freshman year history class who loved bullying me by calling me by my initials- Rea with a long E, even during reciting the Pledge of Allegiance. He jumped in on me once and started gyrating on top of me while I was dancing to Kelly Clarkson's "Walk Away", (one of the biggest hits on the radio at the time), and as soon as I trailed off, I didn't see it coming, but a whole bunch of boys started gyrating and grinding on top of me as I tried to find my way out of the suffocating vacuum of sweat and fear.
And those boys screamed as they grinded on me: "RACHEL IS THE SEXIEST SLUTTIEST GIRL IN THE SCHOOL!"
Finally, I found an opening in the crowd of immature assholes, in the manner of Cruize in Cars 3, where Lightning McQueen is her new crew chief telling her, "Sneak through the window." I left the dance floor laughing and trying to catch my breath in that time, feeling the cold relief of air rushing back to me. I should have gone to the dessert table right then.
Even that wasn't the worst of it. I thought it would be a good moment to try making amends with Meryem Ahmadian from the school spring musical Bye Bye Birdie, after I humiliated her by saying something stupid that I shouldn't have at rehearsal and getting in trouble with our director Mr. McShea and my guidance counselor Mr. Seward. Not a good idea at all, because when I tried to talk to her and ask her nicely to bury the hatchet and "let's be friends now and enjoy the prom"- before I could even get those words out-
Meryem cursed me out by screaming at me, "You're a BITCH, Rachel! DON'T F--- UP MY PROM! GET LOST!"
And instead, I sat there in misery. The entire night, I got no slow dance, no reconciliation with Meryem, and no date on the ride home from the prom. I didn't even go to get a professional photo done at the prom, with a cute backdrop of a fantasy castle courtesy of Life Touch Prestige photography.
And when my first ever cell phone rang, it was Josh, and he was telling me to meet them out front for the limo ride home. I wanted to ride in the back of the limo this time, but unfortunately, Josh wanted to keep things the same in assigned seats.
That's where it hit me on the drive home. As I watched my so called fake friends make out with their dates and I watched Josh and his date communicate with Ryan the bully from freshman year, I knew exactly what it was like to be alone my entire life. I could see why prom was not that great as I had hoped. Maybe my mom was right in that regard, that my accidental blind date was going to treat me like garbage and I'd be humiliated by the entire school at the prom like I was Perry Hall High School's biggest laughing stock.
Even though I was in the top ten girls running for Homecoming Queen my senior year- I was the most hated girl in school. It was true- everyone in high school Hated ME. That's why I should have never gone to my prom and I should have just stayed home, watching Pushing Daisies and Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip with my dad, telling him how much I loved him, because I knew sometime down the road, I was going to lose my dad to cancer before he would ever be 60 years old.
Fast forward about 17 years, I think, and it's getting closer to Halloween, and there was the debut of Ghosts season 2 on CBS and Paramount + not too long ago. Alexander and I were getting caught up on season 1 where the "Attic Girl" who happened to be murdered on her prom night and now haunts the attic in her 80s prom dress, suggests that she needs a ghost prom with everyone else in the house. I felt for poor Sam, the woman who sees ghosts, because when she was a teenager, she was humiliated on prom night like I was for being obsessed with her French class. So, when the Attic Ghost plays a prank on her and makes her life miserable, I can't help but want to burst into tears.
Long story short, the best part is saved for last, where all the ghosts finally allow Sam and her husband Jay to come to their ghost prom with them, and Sam finally gets to be the belle of the ball at last, with Jay as her date. It's finally the prom do over anyone could ask for.
And as I'm watching this gorgeous scene unfold, Alexander pulled me aside and asked me, "So, Rachel, if we could do prom over again and you wanted me to go with you, would you want that?"
I respond in kind like Sam was telling Jay how she "needed a minute" to get all dolled up like this, wearing a gorgeous pink dress and a corsage on her wrist, her hair and makeup done, and she was ready for the ghost prom. :)
Basically, I said, overtop of listening to "Kiss Me" by Sixpence None the Richer, "Actually, if that's doable, I might say yes... Definitely, I'd say yes to that. That'd be really nice."
So, I went to do a little online digging on Google, and I found an article in the New York Times, about how some adults never got to do the prom or never got their prom the way they wanted, so they decided to have a prom in their adulthood. One couple got to do their prom over again as husband and wife, but added alcohol to the mix, wearing a rented tux and a party dress, and they had to be safe going home after their hotel stay because they had children at home staying with a babysitter.
And with that, I tweeted: Innocently reading New York Times article about adults having to redo their prom nights to relive high school proms. I kind of want to do this. I was bullied and sexually harassed at the prom- even my sort-of "date" bullied me freshman year. I'd love to do it again.
And I didn't have enough room to add to that tweet because of the 280 limit, but I wanted to add- I'd love to do it again, but this time, differently from start to finish. I wish I had a real date to prom who actually liked me and treated me like a lady.
And it suddenly reminded me: in 2020, prom in all 50 states of America was canceled because of the deadly virus COVID19. Nobody ever got to go to the prom because the entire country was in quarantine. In fact, the entire world for that matter. And it came at the worst possible time for me and my family as well, since my dad was sick with cancer and a lot of people were falling through the cracks in their education and in health. As I've said before in other posts, 2019 lasted three or four years, that 2020, 2021, even 2022 haven't started yet and things are never going to get better. Not even after the disgusting overturning of Roe vs. Wade that I find offensive as hell because women need healthcare more than ever and doctors are responsible for saving lives, and saving somebody's life is NOT a crime.
Too many youngsters graduating from high school in 2020 never got their prom, never got a graduation ceremony either, didn't get to go to senior week, they got absolutely nothing. They didn't even get a prom in their high school cafeteria. The prom had to be held at HOME, and masks had to be worn if you were to go outside. Life was miserable.
Which is why even before I met the love of my life, Alexander, I wanted to suggest that maybe in 2021 after the kids go to college or go into the military- Why don't we have a prom for college kids? Or why don't we have a special gala party for people who didn't have a prom and hold it for people who missed out because of the terrible times of Corona Virus?
I know that if I was 17 years old again, I wish that was me. I wish my prom was canceled in 2006, so that I didn't get the chance to go to prom with people who hardly knew me and some idiot who bullied me all four years of high school, just to be humiliated by more morons, and going home all alone at 4 a.m. with a stupid laundry bag from a door prize at the after prom party.
I really should have told Josh I couldn't go to prom and he should have asked someone else to go with Ryan. I should have just stayed home wearing my gorgeous white prom dress, with my hair and makeup done, and cried all night long because I got all dressed up for nothing.
Well, at least I still have my crocheted shawl. I know it was an accident that my mom threw my prom dress in with the Goodwill, and I forgave her for that.
Besides, I want a blue dress for my wedding day, someday. And I'm wearing my crocheted prom shawl as my "something old", and my wedding theme is going to be "The Wonderful World of Don Bluth and Disney". Basically, Anastasia, Thumbelina, and Little Mermaid all rolled into one.
I want my gown to be blue, my dad's favorite color, and resemble that of the actual fairy princess Thumbelina in her wedding dress to Prince Cornelius at the end of the movie inspired by Hans Christian Anderson. "Let Me Be Your Wings" and all that.
Now that's fairytale romantic.
Playlist Selection- my new favorite record of the 2020s by one of my favorite bands I listened to towards the end of high school- Brendon Urie and his band Panic! At The Disco became famous sometime around my prom night and my high school graduation day. The summer of 2006 was the first time I heard "I Write Sins Not Tragedies" on the radio, and I'll never forget my dad's reaction, that he actually loved it for the strings and melody.
But even though I don't have my dad anymore, the entire album of Viva Las Vengeance would have been my dad's favorite album of 2022 if he had lived to see it. It screams the best glam rock album since Freddie Mercury was a part of Queen. The guitar sounds a lot like Brian May, but it's not (gasp!), and dad would have loved every 1970s and 80s rock reference in the entire record.
Viva Las Vengeance is the best Brendon Urie masterpiece ever. My dad would be very proud if he was here. Here's "God Killed Rock and Roll".
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